Please kill me now....

According to the real estate attorney who is handling the negotiations of the sale of this house, we cannot use our realtor because the slimy realtor "procured the sale through the use of his marketing", i.e., we called the number on the sign instead of our realtor doing it. So if we want to buy the house, we have to use the slimy realtor, or face a lawsuit from said slimy realtor. Period. End of Story.
Jesus tap dancing kee-rist......just shoot me now. But shoot the slimy realtor first and let me watch.
And that's not even the worst thing we're facing.....