What's the Secret?

I live in a town which is full of green spaces, biking and walking trails, yoga studios, vegetarian and vegan restaurants and is very bike-friendly. It's literally the easiest place in the world to keep fit. Where is my willpower? It's been submerged underneath physical pain and chronic fatigue. I can tolerate a certain amount of exercise but if I overdo it by even a small amount, I pay for it for days. That's a powerful incentive to not do anything; I don't have that luxury anymore. I'm about to turn 45 this week and my family health history is terrible. I have to find willpower. I seriously need it if I'm not going to die young like my mother did. Mom did not take good care of herself, she was too busy taking care of me and anyone else who needed it. She didn't have a selfish bone in her body and that killed her at age 58. Maybe if she had valued herself as much as I (and many others) valued her, she would have eaten better and exercised more. Maybe I would still have her with me......

I think that in order to overcome whatever mental blocks you may have about taking care of yourself, you must first genuinely love yourself. I like myself; I think I'm a nice person and I do my best (most of the time), but I'm not at the point where I love myself. That's quite a big leap in my mind. I have no idea about what it would take to love myself. Do I have to accomplish something major in my life? Do I have to have loads of friends? Must I be successful in my work? What is it?

I don't want to leave the impression that I sit around feeling sorry for myself. I'm not a whining lump of self-pity. I usually have very little empathy for those who do throw 'pity parties'. I absolutely do not want people inquiring about my health woes whenever I see them. If I feel bad, you'll know it; it's impossible to keep it off my face. I hate not being able to keep up with everyone else physically anymore. It's difficult getting old.

On the other hand, getting older means that I don't have to pretend that I care what people think. About anything. That's a fairly good trade-off. I care about what my friends and family think, but it's not going to affect me like it used to when I was in my 20s. I'm generally happier than I've ever been in my life. That's an excellent trade-off for getting older. Mom would like that.

A Perfect Day

Some people are happiest in spring, some in summer. My favorite kind of day is a cold, overcast day in mid-November when the temp is starting to get below 60 degrees and the wind has a tiny bite to it. Those days are the kind that fill me with energy and give me a sense of hope and contentment. That's why I always looked forward to the start of school in the fall, though in Texas the temps would still be at least in the upper 90s. It means the heat and misery are leaving and the good times will begin soon.

Toilet Humor

Last night on the Fine Living channel, I watched a show unfortunately titled "15 Bodacious Bathrooms". I wanted to see what bells and whistles rich people are installing in their bogs nowadays: a faucet in the ceiling that fills the tub from above, a toilet that "salutes" you by raising the lid and seat automatically, massage and steam showers, etc.

A reference was made about a so-called European toilet. I thought. "What makes it European? I guess because when you use it, you're a-peein." I said this out loud and thought myself to be mightily witty and urbane. Then, the obnoxious announcer used the SAME JOKE. I'm getting predictable.....

Faces From the Past

My main hobby nowadays is genealogy. One of my mother's distant cousins had traced a branch of her family and published a book, which is what started me on the path. So many people now have no idea where they came from or what their ancestors had to endure so their spoiled grandchildren could have Wiis and iPhones. How can you know where you're headed unless you know where you came from? It's fascinating to me to learn about my family's part in history. A subscription to Ancestry.com has been one of the best purchases I've ever made.

The trials and tribulations of your ancestors are part of your DNA. Your great-great-grandfather who left his home and moved to a foreign country for a chance at a better life; your great-great-grandmother who gave birth to 14 children without a doctor's care, made a home for them and raised them successfully; your great-uncle who fought in World War II: their bravery and fortitude runs in your veins. No matter that you haven't done any of those things yourself, just think what you're capable of.

PBS starts a series on Wednesday, Feb. 10th called Faces of America. Dr. Henry Louis Gates traces the genealogy of some celebrated Americans. There will also be a series later this year on PBS called African-American Lives, which traces the ancestry of famous African-Americans. These programs should not be missed. If they inspire in you a yearning to learn about your own family history, you can research your lineage here:

www.ancestry.com

www.rootsweb.com

www.familysearch.org

I knew next to nothing about my father's family when I started my journey. Not only have I learned about them, I've provided that knowledge for my father and his siblings who were also in the dark when it came to their background. I've heard from distant cousins who emailed me pictures and stories of long-dead relatives whose names I had heard only in passing. Learning about my ancestors has rewarded me in ways I never imagined and I look forward to the road ahead.