I've spent the last week ill with a lung infection and pleurisy. It started out with what I thought were allergies, but since people at work had been passing around an upper respiratory infection until it grew in strength, it landed at my desk with an almighty thud.
My doctor initially thought I might have whooping cough, of all things. I didn't think people got whooping cough anymore. I figured it had gone the way of "consumption" and "grippe", but I guess not. I had blood work done at the lab and got prescriptions for 2 antibiotics (twice in 6 months!), a steroid to take down the inflammation in my lungs and Vicodin cough syrup, which is also something I didn't know existed. I'm now a huge fan of Vicodin cough syrup. I'm not a fan of steroids, which made me gain 12 lbs. in one week (!), so it's a good thing I'm not a professional athlete. If you knew me personally, you'd know that this is not something to worry about.
I was out of work (yay!) for most of last week. I tried to go back on Wednesday, but everybody told me I looked like shit (don't I usually?) and sent me packing as soon as I got there. I worked a full day on Thursday, even though everyone was telling me to go home, because I had already arranged to be off on Friday. I had a full house of people coming for Christmas on Saturday and I needed time to cook and clean.
I felt OK but tired on Friday and got everything done that I needed to do. Saturday came and everyone showed up and we had a great time visiting and watching football. I had to take a nap midway through the evening and I looked and felt visibly worse when I came back out.
Sunday morning, I woke at 4:30am with a full-blown classic migraine, complete with nausea and sensitivity to light. I don't get these migraines very often. I usually get the kind I can control with my meds, but the classic kind, you just have to sleep them off. I spent all day Sunday in bed, miserable and with a wet rag round my head, and I didn't get to say goodbye to anyone.
This morning, Christmas Eve, I had to work for half a day, and of course, I felt fine. Figures........
Happy Yule and a Great 2008!
Monday, December 24, 2007
Monday, December 10, 2007
A Work In Progress
"Bitch Slapped Into Sobriety"
Chapter One
I was known as the boy with 12 tubes of glue and no models. This caused considerable suspicion, until my mother read a story about lemon scent being put into tubes of glue to confound the waves of juvenile delinquency no doubt due to glue sniffing. She figured that, since I didn't care much for lemons, she didn't have to worry about me becoming one of those "damned ole' dog rapin' glue sniffers", as she put it in her charming east Texas way. She never noticed that I never seemed to have any airplane models, just a lot of half-empty tubes of glue lying around and a glazed look in my eyes. Maybe she thought my vacant expression was hereditary; she certainly accused my father of being "the biggest dumbass in Deaf Smith county" and I heard shrieks of "you're just like your father!" more than once.
But I never asked her how she came to that opinion. I just hung out in my room, stared at my Farrah Fawcett poster and sniffed more glue. As I got older, I started experimenting with spray paint, with disastrous consequences.
Before anyone asks: yes, this is fictional. I got sucked into that A&E show called "Intervention" tonight and I thought that some of those people needed to be "bitch slapped by sobriety" (tm 2007 Lisa Brooke). I've always been far too level headed to be either a drunk or a drug addict and I"ve never visited Deaf Smith county, either.
Happy Holidays!
Chapter One
I was known as the boy with 12 tubes of glue and no models. This caused considerable suspicion, until my mother read a story about lemon scent being put into tubes of glue to confound the waves of juvenile delinquency no doubt due to glue sniffing. She figured that, since I didn't care much for lemons, she didn't have to worry about me becoming one of those "damned ole' dog rapin' glue sniffers", as she put it in her charming east Texas way. She never noticed that I never seemed to have any airplane models, just a lot of half-empty tubes of glue lying around and a glazed look in my eyes. Maybe she thought my vacant expression was hereditary; she certainly accused my father of being "the biggest dumbass in Deaf Smith county" and I heard shrieks of "you're just like your father!" more than once.
But I never asked her how she came to that opinion. I just hung out in my room, stared at my Farrah Fawcett poster and sniffed more glue. As I got older, I started experimenting with spray paint, with disastrous consequences.
Before anyone asks: yes, this is fictional. I got sucked into that A&E show called "Intervention" tonight and I thought that some of those people needed to be "bitch slapped by sobriety" (tm 2007 Lisa Brooke). I've always been far too level headed to be either a drunk or a drug addict and I"ve never visited Deaf Smith county, either.
Happy Holidays!
Sunday, December 02, 2007
The Trouble with Working
This past Thursday at work, I almost succeeded in getting myself fired. In a previous post, I told about these "How Not To Think Like A Victim" classes that the CEO is so enamored of. These sort of classes (and the accompanying books, DVDs and CDs) are cottage industries directed at CEOs. I saw hundreds of similar ones when I worked at Half Price Books. Anybody can think up an "inspirational" line of crap and market it to CEOs, who are only too willing to soak up this junk, thinking that their employees' lives will be changed and they will be forever grateful that their CEO/leader/guru brought it to their attention in the first place.
But I'm not like that.
See, I have work to do, lots of work actually. So much work in fact, that I could easily come in early, work through lunch, stay late and come in on Saturdays and barely keep up. So I have been doing most of the above; I can't stay late because we only have one vehicle at the moment.
So, on Thursday, I asked the CEO if I could speak with him privately. I'm scheduled to take these classes on 4 different days this month and they last all day long. Could I be excused from the classes, seeing as we are overwhelmed with work at the moment and I really should be WORKING and not going to CLASSES that have nothing whatsoever to do with my job?
"Absolutely not! Those classes are mandatory for every employee and WHY ARE YOU EVEN ASKING?!" His face darkened and he scowled at me.
Well, because the classes are USELESS and I'm NOT INTERESTED. See, I'd like to come here and do my WORK. See all those files over there? That's my WORK.
"Well, you'd better be in all 4 days of those classes. Those classes ARE your work!"
Well.......I could see where my bread was buttered, so I walked out the office we were in and left him there glaring at me. Then the real fun started.
Our morning meeting started and all the employees (myself included) gathered together to listen to the usual self-congratulatory bullshit I've come to expect from these losers. The CEO pipes up:
"We need help with shipping, since they're so behind. Who wants to help out?" Of course, the same 20 people raise their hands who do whenever the CEO asks anything, whether it's to help out with shipping or clean the toilets. The same 20 brown nosers....
"Lisa has volunteered to teach y'all how to ship files today at noon, so bring something to write with!"
Noon. That was 30 minutes from his announcement, which was the first I had heard about anything I'd supposedly volunteered for. In 30 minutes, I would teach 20 people who had no real interest in learning my job, how to do what it's taken me almost 4 years to learn.
"Oh yeah, Lisa will teach another class tomorrow, in case anybody can't make it today". I caught his triumphant glance in my direction. I hope he could read the very sincere "FUCK YOU, YOU ASSHOLE" in my eyes.....
Well, I taught his fucking classes and I did them very well, thank you. Those 20 people now know that shippers don't just sit around and shuffle papers. They saw exactly what the underwriters do wrong, what the closers and the funders miss and why the shippers are so backed up with work fixing all those things. I noticed that the closers, the underwriters and the funder who showed up for my first class weren't there for the second one. I'm sure they didn't lose sleep over it.
Oh yes, my supervisor asked me to come in Saturday to work. I said no. And every time she asks me this month to work on Saturday, I will say no. I did feel bad when I turned her down before because of the work load, and these new people messing with the files are only making the shippers' work harder, not easier. My shrink told me that she's a supervisor for a reason; it's her responsibility to get those files out, not mine. I was taking on more responsibility than was warranted for my position. It was getting me nowhere, so I'm not doing it anymore. I'll still come in early and work through lunch and I'll get out as many files as I possibly can during that time, but I'm not working on Saturdays to make up for work I could have done if I wasn't in the damn classes!
On a better note, I took the UT typing and spelling exam. I'm a better typist than I thought (42 wpm with 5 mistakes) but I'm embarrassed to say that I only scored a 98 on the spelling. Jeez, I'm an English major, I should have aced that one. I've applied for an admin job in the Office of Admissions and some other state jobs, so please, goddess, let them call soon......I've grown gray waiting for Whole Foods to call. Those hippies wouldn't know a good thing if it bit them on the ass....
But I'm not like that.
See, I have work to do, lots of work actually. So much work in fact, that I could easily come in early, work through lunch, stay late and come in on Saturdays and barely keep up. So I have been doing most of the above; I can't stay late because we only have one vehicle at the moment.
So, on Thursday, I asked the CEO if I could speak with him privately. I'm scheduled to take these classes on 4 different days this month and they last all day long. Could I be excused from the classes, seeing as we are overwhelmed with work at the moment and I really should be WORKING and not going to CLASSES that have nothing whatsoever to do with my job?
"Absolutely not! Those classes are mandatory for every employee and WHY ARE YOU EVEN ASKING?!" His face darkened and he scowled at me.
Well, because the classes are USELESS and I'm NOT INTERESTED. See, I'd like to come here and do my WORK. See all those files over there? That's my WORK.
"Well, you'd better be in all 4 days of those classes. Those classes ARE your work!"
Well.......I could see where my bread was buttered, so I walked out the office we were in and left him there glaring at me. Then the real fun started.
Our morning meeting started and all the employees (myself included) gathered together to listen to the usual self-congratulatory bullshit I've come to expect from these losers. The CEO pipes up:
"We need help with shipping, since they're so behind. Who wants to help out?" Of course, the same 20 people raise their hands who do whenever the CEO asks anything, whether it's to help out with shipping or clean the toilets. The same 20 brown nosers....
"Lisa has volunteered to teach y'all how to ship files today at noon, so bring something to write with!"
Noon. That was 30 minutes from his announcement, which was the first I had heard about anything I'd supposedly volunteered for. In 30 minutes, I would teach 20 people who had no real interest in learning my job, how to do what it's taken me almost 4 years to learn.
"Oh yeah, Lisa will teach another class tomorrow, in case anybody can't make it today". I caught his triumphant glance in my direction. I hope he could read the very sincere "FUCK YOU, YOU ASSHOLE" in my eyes.....
Well, I taught his fucking classes and I did them very well, thank you. Those 20 people now know that shippers don't just sit around and shuffle papers. They saw exactly what the underwriters do wrong, what the closers and the funders miss and why the shippers are so backed up with work fixing all those things. I noticed that the closers, the underwriters and the funder who showed up for my first class weren't there for the second one. I'm sure they didn't lose sleep over it.
Oh yes, my supervisor asked me to come in Saturday to work. I said no. And every time she asks me this month to work on Saturday, I will say no. I did feel bad when I turned her down before because of the work load, and these new people messing with the files are only making the shippers' work harder, not easier. My shrink told me that she's a supervisor for a reason; it's her responsibility to get those files out, not mine. I was taking on more responsibility than was warranted for my position. It was getting me nowhere, so I'm not doing it anymore. I'll still come in early and work through lunch and I'll get out as many files as I possibly can during that time, but I'm not working on Saturdays to make up for work I could have done if I wasn't in the damn classes!
On a better note, I took the UT typing and spelling exam. I'm a better typist than I thought (42 wpm with 5 mistakes) but I'm embarrassed to say that I only scored a 98 on the spelling. Jeez, I'm an English major, I should have aced that one. I've applied for an admin job in the Office of Admissions and some other state jobs, so please, goddess, let them call soon......I've grown gray waiting for Whole Foods to call. Those hippies wouldn't know a good thing if it bit them on the ass....
