Phobias

Most people have phobias of scary things like heights, spiders, snakes and such. I like to think of myself as fearless, but the fact is I'm actually very afraid of two things: search lights and horseshoe crabs.

Search lights (like the type outside movie premieres) make me think that Hitler is coming to get me. I don't know why this is; perhaps I was a Jew in hiding in a previous life or maybe I saw too many bad Nazi WW2 movies. My mom found out about this phobia of mine when I was about 8 years old and we were driving down Northwest Highway in Dallas, where there are loads of car dealerships. For some reason I cannot fathom, car dealerships back then used search lights at night. We passed one when it was pointed directly at our car and I freaked out. I screamed and hid my head and later that night (and for days afterward) I had nightmares about Hitler and the Nazis coming to get me. Now the only time you see search lights is in front of topless bars and I usually don't have to drive past those. I get the heebie-jeebies just seeing the lights in the sky.




My second phobia I became aware of a few years back when I was working in the antique mall. One of the dealers had a showcase of fossils, rocks and unusual sea shells, and they also had a couple of horseshoe crabs (not alive, of course). If you haven't seen one, they are the most vile, prehistoric and loathsome creatures known to mankind:


Underneath, they're even MORE horrific:


Of course, someone would want me to open up that showcase and TAKE ONE OF THEM OUT to look at it more closely. No, sir. I would have to call my six-foot-five co-worker to do it, and even he would only hold it by the tail and grimace. I want all who read this to appreciate how difficult it was for me to post photos of these revolting crustaceans. I had dreams of one of these crabs coming back to life. I would be running down the aisle screaming like a banshee while the reanimated arthropod scurries down the aisle after me, making a metallic rasp on the concrete floor.

What are YOU afraid of?

A Bargain

I'd say we made a good trade this week: The USA got a President with a triple-digit IQ and Crawford got their village idiot back. All is good.............

House Wishes

Eventually, Adrian and I want to remodel our kitchen and both bathrooms. The kitchen is tiny, but laid out well. I don't like the cabinets or the countertops, though. I'd like something more along the lines of this, with a nice wood or tile floor:


Of course, I'd also like stainless steel appliances, but new cabinets and Silestone countertops would work fine.

As far as the bathrooms, we have a tub in the master bath and a shower in the so-called cat's bathroom (Adrian's term). I never use the tub except for showering, so something like this (with different colored tile and vanity) would be great:

The cat's bathroom needs a tile floor and a better, non-leaky shower with glass doors. Adrian wants a pedestal sink for that bathroom.

We also want to take out the carpet in the house and replace it with hard wood floors, except for the bedroom, where I'd like a nice berber carpet. Adrian plans on painting the house in the spring. I don't know when we'll be able to afford to do the remodeling. It will probably be a few years.

A boring week

Nothing happened this week, except for Friday, when I left work at lunch for 2 doctor appointments. The rheumatologist said "see you in 6 months" which means nothing is happening, and the shrink says I only should come every 2 months, if I need it. I suppose no news is good news.

Next week, I have to help teach a class on processing vouchers and get started on re-doing the work intranet webpage. That's bound to be more interesting than what I'm doing now. Plus, we have a 3 day weekend with MLK Day. I think we should get off every Inauguration Day too. It's one extra day off every 4 years, and c'mon, this one is HISTORIC. Plus, 4 day weekends are bitchin'!

I got about 2 inches of hair cut off this morning and it's time to color it again. The stylist said, "I can't believe how blonde you are! You must have looked like a ghost before you went red!" Yes, I did. Pale skin, pale hair. Being asked, "are you feeling OK?" by total strangers. Men seemed to be totally stupified by blonde hair, no matter what you actually looked like.....I don't miss being blonde. I'm a redhead at heart.

Back to work

Our 2 week winter break is over and back we go to work tomorrow. I'm sure it will be rather quiet tomorrow; they were doing some major renovations in my office when I left, so all of our computer equipment had to be disassembled and stored under our desks. Unless the computer fairies visited over the holidays, we'll probably be putting stuff back together for most of the day.

Had our customary Sunday lunch with Stainze today. He's going into the hospital on Jan. 13th to have a tumor on his kidney removed. It hasn't been biopsied yet, so he won't know if it's benign or otherwise until it's out. Need less to say, he's very nervous about the whole deal. He has some friends coming to stay with him for a bit, since he'll be off work for up to 10 weeks. We're hoping for the best for him.

Took down the Xmas tree yesterday and stored all the holiday stuff away. The old tree will go to Goodwill, along with the old bed frame and foundation. I could probably stand to get rid of other stuff too, like shoes. I wear shoes until they wear out. Time to go through the closet.....

Klutz

We went clothes shopping today, something I always dread. Predictably, I didn't find anything but I did marvel that most plus-size clothes seem to be in man-made fabrics. Is it not bad enough to be big and sweat a lot without being punished by wearing clothes that make the sweating worse? We also found some men's athletic shoes, which surely must be made for athletic clowns. I can't imagine a heterosexual male (or one who doesn't have a big red nose) wearing these:

We did have more luck at Home Depot, where we bought a 7 1/2 ft. tall, pre-lit Christmas tree that had been marked down from $250.00 to just $62.25. It didn't come with a box unfortunately, so at the moment it's lending a festive air to the garage.
We put the Honda in the shop today to get a new master cylinder:

When the call came from Groovy Automotive that the car was ready, I tried to go outside to tell Adrian, but I stepped out wrong and went down like a ton of bricks. I strained my left ankle and my right knee badly. I've had an ice pack on my ankle for the last hour and my foot is frozen. It doesn't hurt terribly, so I'm sure it's just a strain. Still, what a klutz I am......

First post of 2009

I don't usually make resolutions at New Years'. I find that I soon lose interest in such things as exercising (which I know I should do everyday) or eating right (I'm a foodie, what can I say?). I will make an exception this year. I will endeavor to be more creative. I'm going to post more regularly, even though the posts may not be always funny. Everyday life is not always amusing or entertaining; sometimes (many times) it's downright dull, but if I want to call myself a writer, I must write.

I'm on the last part of the 2 weeks winter break that we cushy state employees get every year. It's been absolutely great; I don't think I've ever had 2 weeks off all at once since I've been an adult. I've slept late every morning, watched movies, read books. I finished fixing my Yardbirds website (www.yardbirdsphotos.com) and gotten it up and running. I learned a new Mac application (iWeb) and generally, just enjoyed my life.

This past year was not bad by any means, even though I lost a job. It was a job I hated and losing it was a very good thing. I ended up with a job I like much better. Working at UT is like being a waiter in LA; everyone is something else (actor, dancer, director, etc.) and they're just working there to pay bills. I think that can be a healthy way to live if you tend to define yourself by your work like I do. It gives you something else other than work to put emphasis on. So, I'm now a writer who works at UT paying bills. Yep, that's the ticket, and it's a pretty good ticket.