Record Store-ies - Celebrity Edition

I worked at the record store for 8 years. Because of its stellar reputation in the record collectors circle (which also includes musicians), every now and then celebrities would visit the store. I was not the type (nor were my co-workers) to be "star-struck" or act stupid when a famous person would darken our door; I figured they put on their pants one leg at a time too, right? I was fortunate enough to meet many people whom I greatly admired (in no particular order):

1. I was in college at North Texas and I came in late from class one day. There was a little boy standing at the counter, which he could barely see over. As I walked behind him, he turned slightly and I noticed that it wasn't a little boy, it was an incredibly short man whose head was even with my boobs (lucky him). I went behind the counter, put my books down and my manager handed me a silver American Express card with the name "Paul Simon".
I thought, "Wow, not only is the poor guy really short, he's named Paul Simon. I'll bet he gets ribbed about that all the time". Then I looked at the guy.
Oh. It IS Paul Simon. Wow, he's really short.
He was very nice and signed some autographs for me and my manager. He and his wife came back some time later to buy records to play at her father's funeral. She was very nice too and very tall, towering over her shorter and much older husband. They're still married, so things must be going well for them. Paul is married to Edie Brickell, singer for a Dallas band called the New Bohemians who had a big hit called "What I Am" back in the 80s. All of the New Bohemians bought records at the store, even the one who just got shot to death by his neighbor.

2. I came back from lunch one day and my manager Chuck told me to check out the guy in the 78 room, but don't bother him. I wandered back toward the hatch in the wall that divided the main store from the 78 room and noticed the shabby looking rat-like man listening to 78s on the record player. I didn't recognize him, so Chuck told me who he was and also told me that he had been in before and was very prickly, so don't ask him for an autograph. OK, whatever.
About 3 hours later, Mr. Shabby Rat-Like came up to the counter and wordlessly laid a stack of 78s on the counter. I mentioned that I'd be happy to give him a discount and all he did was nod his head slightly. I rang up R. Crumb's order, he paid and then he left, all without saying a word to me.
Maybe my ass wasn't big enough for him.

My husband and I went to see the movie "Crumb" at its Dallas premiere and I met the director and Crumb's Cheap Suit Serenaders bandmate Terry Zwigoff. I gave him a card for the store (which he had heard of from Crumb) and he came in the next day and bought some records. He was very nice and although a tad shabby, not the slightest bit rat-like.

3. Chuck handed me a letter with a want list of 78s and a return address of "William Morris Agency" in New York City. Mr. Allen Konigsberg was looking for some rare Dixieland 78s, most of which we happened to have in stock. I thought that name sounded familiar. In the letter, he asked us to call him and let him know which records we had and he gave a number, so I called. A woman answered and I told her who I was and why I was calling. She immediately put Mr. Konigsberg on the phone and my hunch was correct; Woody Allen was very happy to hear from us that we had most of the records on his list and would be happy to ship them to him ASAP. Chuck handled subsequent orders from him.

4. I was sitting at the store one day alone when a white stretch limo pulls up in front. The driver opens the car door and a man wearing sunglasses gets out and walks into the store. I asked if I could help him find anything.
"Where are MY records?" He didn't take off his sunglasses.
I showed him the Vocals section and pointed out HIS divider card. He flipped through HIS records.
"You don't have a copy of 'Reunion'?", he sniffed.
I looked under the fixture where we kept extra LPs.
"Nope. Sorry."
"Shit!" B.J. Thomas then swept out the door and got back into his tacky limo and drove away back into HasBeen Land, from whence he slithered.

5. I was alone at the store one evening (again). A very tall blonde youngish looking man came in with a shorter blonde older looking woman. They were looking at LPs for a bit and then came up to the counter.
"Do you carry styli for record players"? Yes, we did.
They had been to the Mexican flea market across the street from the store and found an old Donnie and Marie record player that still worked, but lacked a stylus. I found a stylus that fit and Thurston Moore and Kim Gordon were very pleased that they would be able to play records on their Donnie and Marie player.
Probably not Sonic Youth records, though.

6. I had worked at the store alone all day and it was 15 minutes until closing. I was bored, tired and wanted to go home and be with my husband. I was getting ready to close a little early since nobody had set foot in the store for the last hour when a short man with a white jacket and a black rooster hair cut came in. I recognized him and secretly groaned because I knew I couldn't throw him out.
"I'm a big fan of yours, but I'm closing in 15 minutes, so you'll have to hurry. I've been here all day by myself".
"Oh, sure, I didn't realize the time, I'll hurry."
Since he was so nice about it, I let Marty Stuart shop for an extra 30 minutes.