May 20th was our 14th wedding anniversary. We had a quiet evening, but enjoyable nonetheless. My husband gifted me with an iPod Nano, and I have enjoyed it tremendously. I did have a Shuffle, but you can watch video on the Nano. Oddly enough, I mainly listen to podcasts and audiobooks. Here are some of my favorites:
Podcasts
Answer Me This (two Brits answer strange questions from their listeners)
Rhod Gilbert (very funny Welsh DJ from BBC Radio 4)
Ricky Gervais (from The Office, of course)
Hall of Mirrors (horror fiction from the British Stephen King - fantastic writing!
Car Talk - NPR's Click & Clack, The Tappit Brothers - funny car show
Audiobooks
Librivox - books in the public domain, mainly classics. Loads of great stuff!
Learn Out Loud - free educational stuff - language lessons, classes about everything under the sun.
Listening to podcasts, music and audiobooks makes the work day go by faster, especially when your job is repetitive and somewhat boring. Not that I'm complaining....it's so much better than what I had.
I got my hubby the Mac OSX operation system for our Apple computer. He had some probs with it initially, but I think he fixed them because it runs great, as usual.
We also received our Republican Guilt Money(tm) that week ("Sorry we completely screwed up the US for the last 8 years, here's $1200"). We probably should have saved more, but instead we did our part to lift up the depressed economy with our purchases of an elliptical machine (which I work out on everyday) and a garbage disposal. I broke our old disposal by dropping a cereal bowl in the sink and then turning the disposal on when there were still pits of crockery lodged in it. I'll try my hardest not to break this one.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Friday, May 16, 2008
Montezuma's Revenge
My last post turned out to be prophetic in a small way. Last Sunday, I grocery shopped at Whole Foods and bought loads of wonderful things. Monday evening after dinner, I had a peanut butter rice krispy treat (organic, from Whole Foods) for dessert, and I was up all night vomiting, among other things. I stayed home from work on Tuesday and Wednesday, sick as a dog. Thursday morning, I felt a tiny bit better so I went on to work. By lunchtime, I was weak and dizzy, not to mention having a ferocious case of the trots. My GP had prescribed some Phenergan suppositories (oh, what fun; there's nothing I like better than putting things up my butt) to deal with the nausea, but the sluices were still open full blast at the other end *wink, wink*.
So, I went to the ER. The doc diagnosed gastroenteritis and I was made to drink some nasty, sickeningly sweet drink that was supposed to "replenish my electrolytes", whatever those were. All it seemed to do was fill me up with more stuff that made noise. At least I didn't get stuck with a needle....
It's now Friday, and I did go back to work today, but spent all afternoon running back and forth to the ladies room and hoping my co-workers weren't noticing the gawd awful rumbling from my guts. It sounds like there's a tiger in my trousers, and not the good kind. I thought Whole Foods was supposed to be GOOD for you?
On a much nicer note, I bought Adrian the new Mac OSX operating system for our anniversary. He bought me an iPod Nano, which can play video and has much more room for stuff than my Shuffle. Our 14th anniversary is next Tuesday, so we jumped the gun a bit, but oh well. We both can't wait when it comes to our toys.
So, I went to the ER. The doc diagnosed gastroenteritis and I was made to drink some nasty, sickeningly sweet drink that was supposed to "replenish my electrolytes", whatever those were. All it seemed to do was fill me up with more stuff that made noise. At least I didn't get stuck with a needle....
It's now Friday, and I did go back to work today, but spent all afternoon running back and forth to the ladies room and hoping my co-workers weren't noticing the gawd awful rumbling from my guts. It sounds like there's a tiger in my trousers, and not the good kind. I thought Whole Foods was supposed to be GOOD for you?
On a much nicer note, I bought Adrian the new Mac OSX operating system for our anniversary. He bought me an iPod Nano, which can play video and has much more room for stuff than my Shuffle. Our 14th anniversary is next Tuesday, so we jumped the gun a bit, but oh well. We both can't wait when it comes to our toys.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Child Free...by choice
I've never wanted to be a parent. I assumed when I was younger that, when I became older, my "biological clock" would start ticking and a longing for offspring would naturally follow. Needless to say, it never did. I was the oldest grandchild on both sides of my family and, although I loved being around my younger cousins very much, I never wanted a child of my own. So, child free I am. I prefer the term "child free" rather than "childless" because the latter connotes that I am missing something by not having children, or that I want to have kids but can't because of some physical reason.
I can pinpoint the night when I pretty much knew I would never be a mother. My aunt Vicki was sick with the flu and she asked me to stay the weekend with her to keep an eye on her oldest child (who was then a toddler). She lived in a trailer then and I was sleeping on the couch, which was right outside the baby's room. My aunt was in the far end of the trailer and was too sick to get out of bed.
About 2am, I awoke to my little cousin screaming at the top of his lungs. I slumped up off the sofa and opened the door to his room and that's when the stench hit me. "Great, a dirty diaper", I thought and flipped on the light. My cousin was standing up in his crib, shaking the side bars and shrieking. I was astounded to see that he was covered in shit; shit was dripping off his bed, it was on the walls, the ceiling....it was a world of baby shit.
I gingerly picked him up and took him to the bathroom, where I bathed him (gagging all the while), then quieted him down and put him down to sleep on the sofa. I then cleaned up all the crap (still gagging like there was no tomorrow), which took me 2 hours, after which I fell asleep exhausted in a chair in the living room. The seed was planted:
Do you want to do this on a regular basis, Lisa?..........errrrrrrr...NO.
Do you want to do this ever again, Lisa?..........errrrrrr.......NO.
You grew up poor, Lisa....do you want to have money to spend on yourself? .......
errrrrrrr.....YES.
Does that make me selfish? Probably. On the other hand, I've had mental health problems, physical health problems and I'm not a patient person. My family's genetics are not that great. Why would I want to pass any of that down to another person? Put all that with the fact that I don't really like children (I didn't like children even when I was a kid myself) and babies scare me and that's a pretty good recipe for disaster. I dread when two of my new co-workers give birth in the late summer. I'm sure they'll bring their babies to work and want me to hold them which always fills me with horror. Give me a kitten or puppy or any other type of baby animal to hold and I turn into a big, baby-talking pile of mush, but babies give me the heebie-jeebies. So does the thought of being pregnant. I was pregnant for a very short time a few years ago and I couldn't get to the clinic fast enough for an abortion.
I've been "bingoed" in the past, starting when I was only 16 years old:
"You'll feel differently about your own kids".
"Of course, you'll have kids. EVERYONE has kids".
"Only real women give birth. You'll never be a real woman". (I guess a working vagina and tits has nothing to do with being a "real woman"?)
"Who'll take care of you when you're old?"How is that argument not selfish; have kids so you won't be alone when you get old?
But after I turned 35, then 40, I guess people finally got the idea that it wasn't going to happen. That's a nice part of getting older. Now if menopause would get here, and I wouldn't have to worry about another unwanted pregnancy.....
I have no animosity toward children or babies, I just don't want one living with me, 24-7. I can even tolerate them in limited doses. I don't want to share my toys, literally and figuratively. Most of all, I don't want to have to clean shit off the walls.....
I can pinpoint the night when I pretty much knew I would never be a mother. My aunt Vicki was sick with the flu and she asked me to stay the weekend with her to keep an eye on her oldest child (who was then a toddler). She lived in a trailer then and I was sleeping on the couch, which was right outside the baby's room. My aunt was in the far end of the trailer and was too sick to get out of bed.
About 2am, I awoke to my little cousin screaming at the top of his lungs. I slumped up off the sofa and opened the door to his room and that's when the stench hit me. "Great, a dirty diaper", I thought and flipped on the light. My cousin was standing up in his crib, shaking the side bars and shrieking. I was astounded to see that he was covered in shit; shit was dripping off his bed, it was on the walls, the ceiling....it was a world of baby shit.
I gingerly picked him up and took him to the bathroom, where I bathed him (gagging all the while), then quieted him down and put him down to sleep on the sofa. I then cleaned up all the crap (still gagging like there was no tomorrow), which took me 2 hours, after which I fell asleep exhausted in a chair in the living room. The seed was planted:
Do you want to do this on a regular basis, Lisa?..........errrrrrrr...NO.
Do you want to do this ever again, Lisa?..........errrrrrr.......NO.
You grew up poor, Lisa....do you want to have money to spend on yourself? .......
errrrrrrr.....YES.
Does that make me selfish? Probably. On the other hand, I've had mental health problems, physical health problems and I'm not a patient person. My family's genetics are not that great. Why would I want to pass any of that down to another person? Put all that with the fact that I don't really like children (I didn't like children even when I was a kid myself) and babies scare me and that's a pretty good recipe for disaster. I dread when two of my new co-workers give birth in the late summer. I'm sure they'll bring their babies to work and want me to hold them which always fills me with horror. Give me a kitten or puppy or any other type of baby animal to hold and I turn into a big, baby-talking pile of mush, but babies give me the heebie-jeebies. So does the thought of being pregnant. I was pregnant for a very short time a few years ago and I couldn't get to the clinic fast enough for an abortion.
I've been "bingoed" in the past, starting when I was only 16 years old:
"You'll feel differently about your own kids".
"Of course, you'll have kids. EVERYONE has kids".
"Only real women give birth. You'll never be a real woman". (I guess a working vagina and tits has nothing to do with being a "real woman"?)
"Who'll take care of you when you're old?"How is that argument not selfish; have kids so you won't be alone when you get old?
But after I turned 35, then 40, I guess people finally got the idea that it wasn't going to happen. That's a nice part of getting older. Now if menopause would get here, and I wouldn't have to worry about another unwanted pregnancy.....
I have no animosity toward children or babies, I just don't want one living with me, 24-7. I can even tolerate them in limited doses. I don't want to share my toys, literally and figuratively. Most of all, I don't want to have to clean shit off the walls.....
Monday, May 05, 2008
Tea & Symbolism - Electric Bugaloo
My Dream: Mom and I go to a large, white spherical shopping center, which looks like an airport concourse inside. I go to the ladies room and see a large hairy animal through a glass wall. When I come out, I can’t find Mom right away. When I do find her, she’s in a bathing suit and wet, like she’s just been swimming. She dries off and we go into a convenience store inside the sphere and buy candy bars. Then I’m on a horse, riding through a mountain valley with snow-peaked mountains. I ride into old San Francisco and there’s a sign that reads “1st and Lear”.
Words like white: People feel they can rely on you. You have an abundance of energy and vitality.
Words like shopping: Options. Necessities that need to be fulfilled.
Words like room: Central part of a house. Regarding something important within yourself.
Words like animal: Natural, untamed self. Freedom from civilization.
Words like wall: Defense. Protection. Seeking privacy and security.
Words like suit: Credibility. Professional identity. Looking for power and recognition.
Words like swimming: Movement through water of feelings contained by cultural constructs. You are in an emotional state.
Words like store: Abundance. Options. Variety.Seeking for new choices.
Words like buy: Average success. Good luck. Compensation. Reward.
Words like horse: To dream about horses generally is associated with big earnings and will enjoy prosperous and happy life.
Words like valley: Life. Protection. Growth. Feeling conformable with the present situation.
Words like mountains: Natural elevation of yourself. Aspiration. Success through effort.
Words like old: Long time. Mature. Sensible. Former times. Something could be completed or ready to be replace.
Words like white: People feel they can rely on you. You have an abundance of energy and vitality.
Words like shopping: Options. Necessities that need to be fulfilled.
Words like room: Central part of a house. Regarding something important within yourself.
Words like animal: Natural, untamed self. Freedom from civilization.
Words like wall: Defense. Protection. Seeking privacy and security.
Words like suit: Credibility. Professional identity. Looking for power and recognition.
Words like swimming: Movement through water of feelings contained by cultural constructs. You are in an emotional state.
Words like store: Abundance. Options. Variety.Seeking for new choices.
Words like buy: Average success. Good luck. Compensation. Reward.
Words like horse: To dream about horses generally is associated with big earnings and will enjoy prosperous and happy life.
Words like valley: Life. Protection. Growth. Feeling conformable with the present situation.
Words like mountains: Natural elevation of yourself. Aspiration. Success through effort.
Words like old: Long time. Mature. Sensible. Former times. Something could be completed or ready to be replace.
