Adrian and I indulged in a 2-day orgy of Deadwood, Season Two watching. We literally watched every episode of the new Season two box set, one after the other. What a great show....great writing, great characters, terrific sets and locations, amazing acting....
We also had a cookout for ourselves and spent the day hanging out at home mostly. We did go out to look at another couple of houses....
This week, we also went to see The Devil and Daniel Johnston, which evoked a strong reaction in me. Daniel is an Austin singer-songwriter who has struggled with delusional manic-depression for a long time and now lives with his parents after having been institutionalized several times. The movie documents his life and includes interviews with his parents, siblings and friends. The interviews with his now elderly parents affected me to the point of tears, making me remember when I was hospitalized for depression. My mother and I were in my psychiatrist's office at the hospital in Dallas, discussing my spending time in the psychiatric ward. My mother was crying, asking the doctor if it was her fault, did she do something wrong.....I just sat there silent and trembling, wringing my hands, scared out of my mind. I had never been in the hospital for anything, let alone for being crazy, and my mother thought it was her fault.....
Daniel's parents have to take care of him now, and it's very sad listening to them describe all the things he's done over the years due to his illness, once even trying to take control of the small plane he and his father were flying back home in, causing them to crash into the trees. Luckily, his father was an experienced pilot and they weren't hurt. Listening to their pain that their son is so ill, made me think back to how my illness (which was absolutely in no league with Daniel's) affected my mother and it made me so profoundly sad. I always assured her after that that my illness was in no way her fault, but I think until she died that she harbored some guilt about it.
If there's any person to blame for my life-long depression, it would be my father, and he'll always be in denial that he ever did anything to affect my life other than cause my mother to become pregnant in the first place.
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Vacation and Anniversary!
Today is my 12th wedding anniversary with my honey Adrian. We are both officially on vacation and we leave for San Antonio tomorrow for 2 days.......very nice!
We also plan to look at some houses this week. We met a realtor who has been sending me lists of properties in our price range, and we've looked at one already, but the location was a VERY busy street corner with a bus stop right outside the bedroom window. The house was great though....maybe we'll find another nice one soon. It seems that our landlord does want to sell us the house we've been renting for the past two years, but now he wants more money than the price he quoted us just 3 months ago. We even had a contract drawn up and paid our Earnest money, then he decides that he can't get to the title company to sign it because he's got "loose ends to tie up" before the sale can go through. So we'll just find someplace else to go, before we're priced right out of central Austin....
We also plan to look at some houses this week. We met a realtor who has been sending me lists of properties in our price range, and we've looked at one already, but the location was a VERY busy street corner with a bus stop right outside the bedroom window. The house was great though....maybe we'll find another nice one soon. It seems that our landlord does want to sell us the house we've been renting for the past two years, but now he wants more money than the price he quoted us just 3 months ago. We even had a contract drawn up and paid our Earnest money, then he decides that he can't get to the title company to sign it because he's got "loose ends to tie up" before the sale can go through. So we'll just find someplace else to go, before we're priced right out of central Austin....
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Tea & Symbolism
I always have vivid and entertaining dreams, but I rarely remember them. These were so strange they stuck in my brain for days:
1. My co-worker is either getting married or renewing her vows in a stereotypical haunted house. After the ceremony is over, she leads me and her other bridesmaids up the creaky, cobwebby stairs to a bar on the second floor, where a guy named James is going to call and give us a quiz over the telephone. She then hands each of us tiny china saucers rimmed in gold.....the phone rang and woke me up at that point.
2. My grandfather and I are cleaning his pickup truck in a large light blue painted barn. We are discussing Mexican music and it's ancestry of German band music. Cyndi Lauper is standing in the back of the pickup, dressed in full 1980s regalia, with a rope tied around her waist. For some reason, my grandfather will yank on the rope periodically and Cyndi will fly up and bump her head on the ceiling of the barn, screeching "Owwww! My head!"......I have nothing against Cyndi Lauper, BTW. I like her music just fine......
1. My co-worker is either getting married or renewing her vows in a stereotypical haunted house. After the ceremony is over, she leads me and her other bridesmaids up the creaky, cobwebby stairs to a bar on the second floor, where a guy named James is going to call and give us a quiz over the telephone. She then hands each of us tiny china saucers rimmed in gold.....the phone rang and woke me up at that point.
2. My grandfather and I are cleaning his pickup truck in a large light blue painted barn. We are discussing Mexican music and it's ancestry of German band music. Cyndi Lauper is standing in the back of the pickup, dressed in full 1980s regalia, with a rope tied around her waist. For some reason, my grandfather will yank on the rope periodically and Cyndi will fly up and bump her head on the ceiling of the barn, screeching "Owwww! My head!"......I have nothing against Cyndi Lauper, BTW. I like her music just fine......
Thursday, May 11, 2006
The Land of Flattened Frogs
Today at work the power went out for almost an hour, so we all went downstairs and played frisbee. Then, I had a conference call in a hot office that lasted for an hour and a half and I kept dozing off. At one point, I almost fell out of my chair. I had another shorter meeting at the end of the day, but I was able to stay awake for it. On the way home, I had to go to 3 stores to find a place that carries Biotene mouthwash. It's the only kind I'm supposed to use because of the Sjogren's, and HEB stopped carrying it this week, the sorry bastards......
After work, Adrian and I went for a walk around the neighborhood and I counted 5 flattened frogs ground into the pavement in a 3 street radius. I guess Austin is hard on frogs......
After work, Adrian and I went for a walk around the neighborhood and I counted 5 flattened frogs ground into the pavement in a 3 street radius. I guess Austin is hard on frogs......
