Part of my job is keeping up with obituaries; entering birth and death dates for alumni in the donor database. It can be depressing if the obit is for a young person or someone who died in a tragic way, but it can also be a way to learn about interesting people with interesting lives. When I first started doing obituaries, I had to decease people who had been working in the Twin Towers on 9/11, a sobering experience.
Obituaries can be short and direct to the point: "John Smith died Monday. He was 76 years old", or perhaps: "I was born, I blinked, and I died".
They can be long and florid: " Grandpa Pete lived a life full of loving grandkids, old dogs, cigars, dreams of the huge fish that got away, and culminated in a journey to the arms of the Lord on May 2nd."
A few can be wildly entertaining, making you wish you had personally known the person: "Julie was never one to suffer the ordinary. She lived a life that she once aptly described as "one big unplanned experience," entirely on her own terms. Though her sudden departure on December 9 left each of us shocked and devastated, the way she went was so Julie. She was on a grand adventure in the South of France, when a commercial truck struck her rental car on a road which links the medieval city of Bruniquel, in Tarn-et-Garrone to Saint-Antonin-Noble-Val, killing her instantly." Julie does indeed sound like an amazing person, and was really living her life.
Some self-written ones are comical and make you laugh out loud: "It pains me to admit it, but apparently, I have passed away. Everyone told me it would happen one day but that’s simply not something I wanted to hear, much less experience. Once again I didn’t get things my way! That’s been the story of my life all my life".
Or: "I'm sure you'll all be crying because I'm dead as a door nail, but never fear; I'll be happy and dancing. Probably naked."
This lady could have been me in a previous life:
"Pat was world-renowned for her lack of patience, not
holding back her opinion and a knack for telling it like it is. She
always told you the truth even if it wasn’t what you wanted to hear.
With that said she was genuine to a fault, a pussy cat at heart (or lion) and yet she sugar coated nothing. Her extensive vocabulary was more than highly proficient at knowing more curse words than most people learned in a lifetime."
With that said she was genuine to a fault, a pussy cat at heart (or lion) and yet she sugar coated nothing. Her extensive vocabulary was more than highly proficient at knowing more curse words than most people learned in a lifetime."
Very rarely, I'll see a brutally honest obit that gives me pause:
"Leslie Ray 'Popeye' Charping was
born in Galveston on November 20, 1942 and passed away January 30, 2017,
which was 29 years longer than expected and much longer than he
deserved.
"At a young
age, Leslie quickly became a model example of bad parenting combined
with mental illness and a complete commitment to drinking, drugs,
womanizing and being generally offensive. Leslie enlisted to serve in
the Navy, but not so much in a brave & patriotic way but more as
part of a plea deal to escape sentencing on criminal charges."
"Leslie's
hobbies included being abusive to his family, expediting trips to
heaven for the beloved family pets and fishing, which he was less
skilled with than the previously mentioned. Leslie's life served no
other obvious purpose, he did not contribute to society or serve his
community and he possessed no redeeming qualities besides quick wittedd sarcasm which was amusing during his sober days."
"With Leslie's passing he will be missed only for what he never did; being a loving husband, father and good friend."
" Leslie's passing proves that evil does in fact die and hopefully marks a time of healing and safety for all."
Wow, what a guy. I think I'll write my own obituary.
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