a busy week......

Bidness is picking up, as they say, and I've been very busy this week. The only doctor appointment I had this past week was a nerve conductivity test at my neurologist's office. That's where they stick needles in your legs and put electricity through them to see how the nerves conduct sensation throughout. It was most.........unpleasant. I had to be pried off the ceiling at several points throughout and I'm sure patients in other exam rooms were wondering what they were doing to me to get me to make those extraordinary sounds. I get to do another one on my upper body this coming week and oh......HOW I'm looking forward to it.

My great-uncle Bill passed away this week. I wasn't able to make it up there to the funeral, which I felt bad about. My Aunt Alice was always there for me when my Mom was ill. Aunt Alice is the only one of my grandmother's siblings still alive and I'm close to her. She and Uncle Bill were married for over 50 years and even though Uncle Bill had been very ill for a long time, I know she's suffering now. I hope she will be OK. I hate to think of her being sad, but she has children and grand-kids to help her through. I don't even want to think of Adrian going before I do.....

We got most of our yard work done last weekend. There were still piles of leaves that were starting to leave bare spots in the yards, so we finally got them all raked up and put into bags. We spread mulch in the front flower beds. Now our yard looks beautiful again. Adrian has been reading up on natural or "green" gardening and he now knows how to compost, make weed-and-feed without chemicals and when and how long to water. I pulled up all the dandelions that infested the yard while my back was messed up. It looks like this now:

This canna flowered with a lovely bloom.

The hummingbird vine has flowered again too...and it smells so good!

The flower bed is looking a little less bare.

5 Years On......

I lost my mom 5 years ago yesterday. Time does heal, but the pain of not having her to lean on or talk to never goes away. I miss hugging her. She was a large woman and soft all over, and hugging her made me know that everything would be OK and tomorrow was another day.
I miss talking to her, because she had a hard life, thanks to her parents and my father. Mom was never bitter about her life or how it turned out. She always knew what to tell me and how to best deal with a situation.
Last night before I went to sleep, I asked her to give me some sort of sign that she wasn't hurting anymore and was OK. I had a wonderful dream about her, my grandmother and my great-grandmother (both of whom I also miss).
I still have her with me and that gives me great comfort. I can't imagine having to go to a graveyard to visit with her. She never wanted that. She wanted me to take her with me wherever I went and that's exactly what I will do.

Ah Bin HEEEELED!

Yesterday, I went back to pain doc and received epidurals in my neck and my lower back. Once again, I was sent off to La-La Land with a lovely cocktail of Versed and Fentanyl, the deed was done and I was sent on my way, which was back home to bed. I slept deeply for 5 hours and woke up a bit nauseated. A tall glass of water cured the nausea, then Adrian and I went to buy some groceries and kitty food.
Went back to work today. I came home and let Dinsy out in the back yard. I then proceeded to pull some of the dandelions which have overrun our back garden. I did that very carefully so I wouldn't re injure my back. Unless you keep up with dandelion pulling without slacking for 3 weeks, you can be quickly and completely engulfed with the fuzzy, tea-making weeds. I think I'm going to have to dig up most of the yard to completely rid myself of them.
I'll be taking my new memory-foam lumbar back rest to work tomorrow.

More pain than I need

My pain level has skyrocketed since I last wrote. The pain doc sent me to a chiropractor for physical therapy. The first visit was OK, the chiro just put those electrode things on my back as well as an ice pack for 20 minutes. The pain kept getting worse, so on the second visit, the chiro tried adjusting me. It hurt so bad, I was in tears. I scheduled my third visit for a few days later to see if the pain would lessen, but by my third visit, I could hardly walk. Sitting and then getting up off the chair would just about make me faint. I wondered whether I had damaged the torn disc in my lower back even further.
On the third visit, I saw the main chiro who owns the practice. She again attempted to adjust me, but since I was literally howling in pain, she asked why I hadn't gone back to the pain doc. I told her it was because I couldn't get anyone on the phone, which was true. She said, Well, I'll fix that!"
She get somebody there on the phone and shouted at them about sending her a patient who was in terrible pain and obviously needed better painkillers than Ultram. I heard her say that somebody there better see me today. They gave me an appointment for 3pm that day.
I expressed my concerns to the pain doc about my lower back. She told me that she was sure it was just muscle spasms, that I hadn't damaged my disc. She moved my final injection appt. up 2 days to next Tuesday and gave me a prescription for Darvocet and told me to take my muscle relaxers during the day as well as at bedtime.
So........now I'm still in pain, but I can deal with it better. I wish they could have moved up my epidural appt. sooner.

On a lighter note, we missed Iggy & the Stooges (a free show) at Waterloo Records last night. They came on at 6pm and by the time I picked up Adrian and we got downtown with all the traffic, it would have been over anyway. I'm more sad that we'll miss the Buzzcocks at Emo's tonight. They only let in a few people without SXSW accouterments, so we'd never get in anyway. Two bands I've wanted to see since I was a kid and I miss both of them.......

What happened?

I was supposed to be feeling much better by now. I went to the chiropractor for my first visit and was worked over. Now, my head hurts, my arm hurts, my back hurts, my hips hurt, my legs hurt......and it pisses me off. My job is becoming more stressful and working when I feel so bad makes me feel even worse.
The chiropractor wanted me to come back every day for an adjustment, but fucking hell, who can afford that? I'm wondering where the money is for the appointment tomorrow. I'm TIRED of hurting. I want it to STOP.

On a similar note (being pissed off), SXSW is coming up this week here in Austin. If you can afford hundreds of dollars for a wristband or a badge, there are loads of great bands in town. If you can't afford a band or badge, you can still hear great bands for free. What pisses me off is that I can't go anywhere downtown or south of the river for the next week and a half because every place will be jammed with tourists and record company weasels. This is as close as Austin gets to being a resort town. Traffic will be much worse.

I'm only griping because I feel like shit. I really don't give a toss about SXSW.

Plants I haven't killed yet

Cannas in the back yard last summer.

Mystery plant in the back yard

Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow plant in the back yard

Pretty, lovely-smelling narcissus in the front yard

There are several other plants I figured out yet. We have feathery ferns, monkey grass, loads of ivy and several ligustrum trees. I hope the cannas come back. The stems all turned brown and dead looking in the freeze, but bulb plants usually do that, then bloom again in the spring or summer. When we were looking at the house, the blooms were flaming orange........

Morning From Hell and Day After of Beauty

Yesterday morning, I awoke an hour and a half later than usual. Forgot to set my alarm, you see. When I realized how late it was, I sprang up out of bed and then I felt it. You know when you turn a certain way and you feel that little "catch" in your lower back, then you have to walk very slowly and gingerly and you have to lift yourself out of a sitting position with your arms because your legs aren't cooperating? Yeah, that's it........it'll go away in a couple of days. Just a muscle spasm, but very annoying.....

Since we were going to be late anyway, I minced out to the truck and took Adrian to work. I didn't have time to make coffee, so I thought about Starbucks, which has a drive-thru. Paid $7.25 for a large Cinnamon Soy Latte and a cinnamon roll. That was the second mistake of the day. Starbucks is a rip-off and their coffee sucks. Plus, the girl at the window didn't put the lid on right, so when I got to work and picked up my "coffee", it came off and then all of the Cinnamon Soy Latte was all over the front seat of my truck. Didn't get to drink a drop of it. Nice start to a LOVELY day.........

Fortunately, I had the second epidural injection this morning, this one in my neck. I was also nursing a blinding migraine from yesterday, so I was hoping it would help that too. After a nice IV with a side of Versed, I breezed right through it and was soon sitting in recovery sucking on a juice box, like a happy 6 year old. I took an Ultram when we got home and stretched out on the couch for a 3 hour nap and, aside from the catch in my lower back, I feel pretty good. My shoulders look to be about 4 inches lower than they were, which makes my neck look longer. YAY! Anything to help the vanity, eh ladies?

Plus, I have lovely narcissus growing in the front yard. They smell divine. When I can bend down again, I'll take some pics. Adrian has been doing yard work today while I've been "Diva of the Divan" as the Yankee nurse at the pain doc's terms it. Yard looks verrrry nice-ah......

In Dreams......

I've posted before of some strange dreams I've had:

Tea & Symbolism
Music-related dream

Those were just dreams that were so weird that I actually remembered them the following morning. For the last two nights, I've had a recurring dream. It's starts like this:

A friend of mine has invited me to go through this dead person's apartment and take whatever I want. The apartment has abnormally high ceilings and everything is bathed in the hazy, yellowish light you see when sunlight is filtered through cigarette smoke and sheer curtains. The apartment looks as if it hasn't been redecorated since the early 70s. The dead person (who I don't know) has some great stuff: art pottery, expensive perfumes, beautiful jewelry, rugs and quilts. I make a sizeable pile in the living room floor and start going through the closets, feeling a bit guilty, a bit like a vulture. You can't take it with you, so I might as well enjoy it....

My friend comes in and tells me that we have to leave immediately if we're going to get to the restaurant in time. Said restaurant is a little European bistro-type place in a mews with similar charming shops around it. Why do we need to get there so fast? Because an accordion player, billed as "Happiness On Two Feet", will be playing there this evening. We arrive at the bistro only to find that it's closed that day, and for some reason I can't go back to the dead person's apartment to get the schwag I picked out.

Sucks to be me, eh? Not with dreams like that! The only other recurring dream I can remember is when I was a teenager, I had several dreams about a tumbleweed with large blue eyes and long, bushy eyelashes that followed me around. Whenever I would try to send it away, the tumbleweed would cry huge salty tears and I'd feel sorry for it, so I'd let it stick around.

Anybody want to venture a guess about all this weirdness?

Kitty Porn

Above we see Dinsdale "throwing a full-bore rot". She does this when we come home from work, when she sees one of us at the computer or just when she wants us to pay attention to her. The act of "being rotten" entails doing something cute to get us to stop doing whatever it is that we're doing at that moment and fuss over her. We do that anyway but a full-bore rot always stops everything.

Go, me.....and Stop The Insanity!

Last night, I exercised for the first time in over a year. My knees hurt a bit, but that's from arthritis. My upper body is very sore. Still, I felt good enough to exercise and that's half the battle for me. I did one of my favorite aerobics videos; one that's basic, yet still gives a good, solid workout.
I prefer to exercise with videos. Walking outside makes my feet and knees ache, plus by the time I get home at night it's already dark. I don't like going to gyms, even if I could afford to, because they're crowded and usually populated by people who are there to see and be seen, rather than work out. That was always my experience with gyms anyway, maybe they're different now.
I lost weight before I got married by doing several of Susan Powter's videos. Yes, she's obnoxious, but her workout videos are great. No dancing, full of simple, yet effective moves and very easy to follow. She has a new one out called Trailer Park Yoga. Jeez, I'll have to check that out.....

And the winner is.........

Me, I think. I feel better physically this week than I have in a few years. I still have some pain and soreness, but it's in my joints where the arthritis is, not ALL OVER MY BODY. I've only taken 1 painkiller since last Saturday. Bring on the neck shot, I say! I'm hoping that's going to unknot my rock-hard (not in a good way) shoulders and jaw muscles. If it does, I'll be dancing around in circles........

I started my Ebay bidness this past weekend. I'm going to get rid of my early REM stuff. I don't really like them anymore and the stuff is just taking up room, so why not sell it? We need the $$ to pay our taxes anyway and we've got loads of stuff we could sell.......

We got Dinsy a new collar and she must like it because she's been extra lovey-dovey since we put it on her.

First in a series

This morning, I went to get the first in a series of 3 epidural steroid injections. This one was in my lumbar spine. I had told the nurse practitioner that I would prefer to be knocked out during this procedure, but when I arrived and got checked in today, I was informed that they "don't do that for back shots". So, with only local anesthetic, I got a needle stuck into my spinal column to deliver anti-inflammatory medication and steroid medication, which is supposed to cut or lower the inflamed sensation of the compressed nerves caught between my bulging disc and my torn one. I'll repeat that: I GOT A FUCKING NEEDLE STUCK IN MY SPINE AND THEY WOULDNT KNOCK ME OUT.
Actually, it wasn't THAT bad. I did feel it at certain points, but the whole thing took maybe 10 minutes, tops. I let them know it when I did feel it. My legs felt a bit strange immediately afterward, like I couldn't lift them high enough to not walk like a gimp, but other than soreness, I'm fine now. I may not be that way later tonight, when the numbing medication wears off. The steroids take about 3 days to kick in, so there will be a day or so where I'll be feeling "not so fresh", as they say in the tampon commercials.
Now I'm at home, napping, watching TV and dreading going back to work tomorrow. And yes, I do have to go back to work tomorrow, my boss is already freaking that I took today off. He's working with the flu. Good for him, make everybody sick.
Now, I have to come back on March 1st for the neck shot. They do put you out for that one, I asked the doc......

My Old Job

For 8 years, I worked at the best record store in Dallas. This was when a record store meant "Records", as in vinyl LPs, 45s, etc. We even had a separate room for 78s. We didn't start carrying CDs until 1997. Record collectors are by definition, unusual people, untroubled by new trends, current tastes in popular music and personal hygiene. There are exceptions, but for the most part, I dealt with the smelly ones. Some of the stranger ones are seared on to my memory:

1. The Hudson Family. This family would take the bus down from Michigan every year just to come to the store and buy records, usually 78s. Mom, Dad, little girl and little boy. They would be waiting when I arrived to open the store in the morning and I would have to chase them out at closing time. I remember the little girl, who was about 6 years old at the time, proclaiming to me as I was checking out a customer, "Hey lady, I gotta shit!" Nice. They didn't leave to eat, even when the kids (who were very young) would be crying from hunger. My boss Dorothy would usually go to McDonald's and buy Happy Meals for the kids and chew out the parents for being such assholes. The last time I saw them, as we were totaling up the final bill, Dad said, "Kids, I hope those Happy Meals were good, because we only have enough money for the bus tickets back home. We'll eat again when we get there." Dorothy went absolutely ballistic and threatened to call Child Protective Services unless he put most of those records back and saved enough money to feed his children.
Mrs. Hudson also used to walk around while breastfeeding the little boy in the store, which shouldn't cause any undue alarm; that's what they're FOR, right? But then we meet:

2. Cajun. Never knew his real name, just always called him Cajun. He spoke with exaggerated courtliness, used a carved walking cane and stunk to high heaven. He weighed about 400 lbs., had sparse facial hair and wore overalls and a gimme cap sideways on his head. He was in the store one day when Mrs. Hudson whipped out a tit and started feeding the kid. I noticed him staring and gave him the patented Lisa "Stink Eye", which sent him scurrying to the back of the store. Cajun sidled up to the store manager Chuck, still staring at Mrs. Hudson, and whispered "boy, ya don't see that everyday."

3. Mr. and Mrs. Pop Eye. He was about 5 feet tall, looked like Pop Eye with a beard and he usually came in with his wife, who was about a foot taller and outweighed him by about 200 lbs. She usually sported a black eye or two (he probably stood on a chair to get that high). He bought 45s exclusively. One day I was playing a Sam The Sham Best of LP and when "Wooly Bully" came on, they both started yelling at me to take the record off. I wasn't about to, so I asked what their problem was. Pop Eye said that it was "devil music"....The next time they came in, they had little Jesus pamphlets for me. I politely thanked them, then dropped them into the trash.

4. Phil Donohue. No, not THAT Phil Donohue, this idiot just looked like him. He used to come in and look at jazz LPs and tell me to "TURN IT DOWN!!" whatever I was playing, if it wasn't jazz. I would immediately turn it up, which would send him into paroxysms of anger, amusing me greatly. I caught him switching price tags one day and banned him from the store.

5. The drunk guy who came in with his 2 floozies to stock up his juke box. "Spend mah money for me!" he slurred at me, waving his arms around, "Ah gotta whole jukebox ta fill up!" I told him I could do that, but tomorrow when he sobered up, he wasn't getting his money back. "Ah ain't gunna brang 'em back! Spend mah money!!" So....I spent about $2500 for him. He had a real nice jukebox when I got done. Sure enough, the next day, here he comes, obviously hung over and wanting his money back. No dice, but he had a killer jukebox, so he should have been happy.

6. The rich guy who was a big wig at Texas Instruments and liked to come in and spend loads of money. He would buy anything I recommended, which always happened to be the extremely rare stuff in the front glass case. He never asked for his money back. He was a bit of a prick, though, and I secretly groaned when I saw him coming through the door, because I don't like dealing with pricks, no matter how much money they spend. My manager Chuck had purchased a rare, though unfortunately cracked, Robert Johnson 78 and had a special round wooden frame made to display it in. Rich guy noticed it one day and asked how much? Not for sale.
In a smarmy, prickish tone of voice, he said "Everything has a price. How much is it?"
I called Chuck, who said to tell him $5000 just to shut him up. So I told the guy $5 grand and he said, "I'll take it, and these other ones you picked out for me (about $600 worth of stuff). How do I get it out of that frame?"
Why did he want a cracked, rare 78 that available on various LPs out of the frame? He wanted to PLAY it. I told him, NO!! you do NOT want to play that, you'll ruin it! He said in the same smarmy voice "It's mine now, I'll do what I want with it." Prick.......but I got something out of him.....
A friend of Chuck's used to do stereo equipment repair and also sold high-end stereo equipment. Rich guy brought up a turn table and said to give to Chuck's pal to fix. I assumed he meant the same guy, so I gave it to Chuck's pal. Turns out it was meant for another friend, but the pal fixed it and rich guy ended up buying $100k worth of equipment and I got a very nice SOTA turntable for free out of the deal. Very nice....

7. Several Dallas cops used to come in and buy every copy of Johnny Reb's racist 45s we had. Made me glad I wasn't black or Mexican while living in Dallas....

8. An LBJ look-alike who came in regularly, always wearing the same polyester disco shirt which pictures of trees on it and obviously was never washed. Two things always happened when "LBJ" came in the store: my co-worker Steve and I would look at each other and chant in stereo, "Ah shall not seek and Ah will not accept the nomination of mah party fo another term as yore Prezident", and Dorothy would follow the guy around the store spraying Lysol in his wake, all the while scowling at him furiously. LBJ was completely oblivious to all of this.

9. The effeminate little weirdo who always came in for his Joni James and Judy Garland LPs. He was extremely annoying and mistakenly assumed that any of us gave a shit about his very existence. He would call after he left the store so we knew that he got home OK. He got married at one point to a girl who (this seems to be a re-occurring theme) outweighed him by 200 lbs. and brought in their honeymoon scrapbook (it was about 9 inches thick, which is more than he could say) to show us. No thanks, I just had lunch.
I thought I left him behind when I started working somewhere else, but to my dismay, he started working at my fave CD store in Dallas. I walked in one day and hear "Hiiiiiiiiii, Liiiiiiiisssssssaaaaaaaa!!!!! Did you miiiiiiisssssss meeeeeeeee?" Sure, like I miss an axe in my head. He also assaulted me at every record show in Austin, even when I was pointedly rude to him.
"Hiiiiiiiii, Liiiiiiisssssssaaaaaa!"
"FUCK OFF!"
"Ooohhhh, Liiiiiiiissssssssaaaaaaaa, you're suuuuuuuch a jooooooooker!"
"FUCK OFF OR I'LL KILL YOU!"
"Ooooohhhh, Liiiiiissssssssaaaaaaaa, you're ssssoooooo fuuuuuuunnnnyyyyy!!!!!".

10. One day, there was a big news story about a guy who killed his wife and kids and himself. Apparently, he had been abusive to them and wife had threatened to leave and take the kids, and the guy freaked out and killed them all then blew his head off. A sad story. We were discussing this in the store that Saturday when 2 teenage girls come in. They ask if we have a 45 of "Love Hurts" by Nazareth. I get it for them and they ask if I can play it for them. We had a little headphone player so people could try out records, but someone was using it, so I put it on the overhead system. As soon as the singing starts, the girls cling to each other and start WAILING. Everyone in the store is staring at them and I ask them to please keep it down. I'm thinking, "oh, they've got broken hearts, puppy love, etc". One of the girls stutters out that they want the record for their brother's funeral. It was their brother who had killed his family and then himself. Cue Twilight Zone theme.......

a visit with my inner child

Anybody who knows me knows that I live with my inner child on the outside pretty much all the time. During my visit with the "pain counselor" today, he asked me what my childhood as like. So....I told him. After he picked his jaw up off the floor, he suggested that I "pay a visit to my inner child" in order to lend comfort. As he led me through a visualization of walking near the ocean (something which freaks me out) and coming upon a "small, forlorn figure all alone on the beach", I was overcome with sadness and asked him to stop. The "small, forlorn figure" was supposed to be my 8 year old self and I was supposed to be the strong capapble adult, lending a comforting hand. What could I tell that 8 year old girl that would be of any comfort whatsoever?

1. Cheer up! You only have one more year of being molested, then he'll get tired of you. He'll die eventually and you only have to keep it a secret for 10 more years...
2. You'll be happily married one day, but you'll have to live through 3 suicide attempts, your beloved mother's fatal illness and pain-filled death, the death of your beloved grandmother after years of wasting away in a nursing home, and an abortion...
3. You'll be somewhat happy one day, but until then, you'll be hospitalized for depression and be on every anti-depressant on the market and you'll have chronic health problems starting in your late 30s.....
4. Your father will continue to make stabs at trying to be your friend, then ignore you when something else comes along, so you can give up trying to get his attention....

I'd just as soon leave my inner child in the past and continue having a happy second childhood. I don't like talking about all that stuff, because truly, what good does it do? It sure doesn't make me feel better, and who wants to hear that crap? I only told him because I'm paying him to listen to me and I'm only posting about it here because it's the only memorable thing to happen to me today, except for doing our taxes......

I haven't even begun to tell him ALL the stuff that happened. I just gave bullet points and that's probably all he'll get out of me. It's in the past and that's where it will stay.....

Groundhog Day

Where do I start?

Hmmmm......went back to pain doc today to get results of the MRIs on my neck and lower back. She was right: I have 2 bulging discs (or dicks, if this was the Greenville Herald-Banner) in my neck, one of which is pressing against and flattening my spinal cord; and 2 bulging discs in my lower back, one of which is torn and possibly leaking fluid. These are what have been causing the pain, along with the arthritis in all of my joints. The solution: epidural injections in my spine, or surgery if those don't work. I have the first injection on Feb. 15th. I'll be put under for it, so I get the day off work.

I got prescriptions for Lexapro (antidepressant) and Ultram (painkiller), of which I took the first doses today before lunch and promptly got a blinding migraine. The pharmacist called me at work right before I came home and told me to not take those together because of "increased risk of seizures". Cool! I told her she was too late and asked her to please refill my migraine meds. Note to self: start the Lexapro AFTER the injections, because I may not need the painkiller after then....

The night before last, my allergies were bugging me and I was out of Zicam, the homeopathic remedy I usually take for such. Instead, I took an over-the-counter allergy med from the grocery store and also an extra half pill of my muscle relaxer, since the pain was especially bad that night. About 30 minutes later,, I got really sleepy and went to bed. As I was laying in bed, I noticed a swarm of huge spiders come out of the ceiling fan. Then, I saw hands reach out for me from my peripheral vision. I freaked out and called for Adrian, who came into the bedroom. I had to ask him, why do you have a clown face on? He didn't. I could see it even though my eyes were closed. Great, I'm hallucinating! Now, I do sleepwalk, but I don't have nightmarish things happen when I sleepwalk and Adrian can always talk me out of it. These were full-on hallucinations, which, back in the day, would have been welcomed and even sought after, but shit, I was trying to sleep. The spiders, clown faces and reaching hands kept up until I finally drifted off to an uneasy sleep about 3:30am.

So that's been my fun week....

hic....hic....hic.......

I need to start drinking more heavily so I can treat people shitty and get away with it because "I was drunk". Apparently, when you drink, you can make plans with non-drinking people who will stupidly think you mean it, and then blow them off. When they get pissed at you, you can just say "oh hell, I was drunk, I don't even remember talking to you".
I've spent all these years being considerate to my friends and if I had been drinking, I wouldn't have had to bother! What a fucking drag! And according to another friend of mine (birthday boy), I have no right to be angry that I was "blown off", so to speak, because I can't control other people, so why be mad about how they treat me? Oh yes, and I'm blowing things all out of proportion and I'm "on the knife edge" too, according to said friend.
Now, I was raised among alcoholics, so you'd think I'd be used to this crap. But no, I married a good man who doesn't drink and I've tried to surround myself with decent friends, like Phillip and Shelly and Jimmy who don't treat people shitty. So I still do get really pissed when people whom I thought were my friends (some even relatives) who think it's OK to ignore me.
I hope I've never treated any of my real friends badly. If I ever did, I certainly never meant to......

Rough weekend

It's been a rough but enjoyable weekend. Our pal John turned 60 and had a big birthday party at a Mexican restaurant. He DJ'd and there was food and drinks, great music, etc. Unfortunately for me, the only place to sit was right in front of the speakers. I'm officially too old, because it was too fucking LOUD. Actually, I think it was because the speakers were lousy and full of distortion. Music played loud through good speakers doesn't bother me, even to the point where the bass makes my bones hum. Distortion is painful, however, and a major migraine started. Our pal Phillip and my sister-in-law Vicki were with us and we came back home around 11 and talked and snacked.

I also saw a girl who use to come into my record store in Dallas to buy records from me when she only 12 years old, but mainly because she had a crush on my co-worker Steve. She's now 29 (!) and lives here in Austin with her boyfriend. Twenty-nine years old! That makes me fucking OLD! She's a lovely woman and I was very glad to meet up with her again. My co-worker Steve, who was supposed to stay with us Saturday night, apparently made other plans and didn't even call to let us know.

Sunday, I got up earlier than usual since we thought my husband's other sister and her husband were coming over (that's what they said), but when we called them to ask when they would be here, we just got the answering machine. They've been blowing us off for a while now and I'm kind of tired of it. We all had a big misunderstanding earlier last year, but we all apologized and I thought it was over and done with. Now, every time we invite them over or they ask to come over, they never do. That's why I value my friends like Phillip and Shelly. They do what they say they're going to do and if can't for some reason, they let us know. Phillip and Shelly are real friends, and they seem to enjoy coming down here to visit us. We always have a great time when they do and I always look forward to seeing them. Shelly wasn't able to come to the party and we missed her very much.

I spent most of this afternoon (after Vicki went back to Dallas) in bed with a heat pack on my head, trying to get rid of this fucking migraine. The raised dosage of Lyrica is helping me sleep a lot better, but the pain is worse because I'm sleeping so deeply that I stay in one position for a long time (sometimes waking in the same position I fell asleep in) and I wake up feeling extremely sore and achy. I'll discuss that issue with the pain specialist later this week....

Please Bush, just....go away.....please.

I visited the "pain counselor" as recommended by my pain specialist. I told him my list of woes, that I had been on virtually every antidepressant on the market and tried biofeedback and cognitive therapy (which were a load of bullshit for my particular situation) and he listened, then suggested trying......you guessed it: biofeedback and cognitive therapy. "It's different now from what it was like in the 80s." Ahhh......we'll see about that. He said that when I see the pain doc again on the 1st, she would see about getting me on an SSRI. I mentioned Lexapro to her on my last visit. I haven't tried that one yet...

Monkey Boy is on all the channels giving his State of the Nation address. Every time he opens his mouth, people die. The Democrats aren't going to do any better. "I'm bored. Who should we invade now?"

I have an MRI on my neck and lower back on Thursday. I don't know exactly what they're looking for; the pain specialist thinks I have "issues" with vertebrae in those places. She pressed on a couple of places on my back and I almost collapsed from the pain, so maybe she's right. It doesn't bother me constantly, just an annoying reminder when I sit ir stand or lie in one position for too long. It prevents me from sleeping soundly, since the pain will wake me up whenever I switch positions. The raised dosage of Lyrica is helping the sleep part a bit, but not the pain bit. Maybe it will in time.....

I'm trying to get used to wearing my contacts again. I hate my glasses. I can't see as well with them as I could with my contacts, but my eyes are dryer now. I need to have my eyes checked again. If I could start wearing my contacts again, that would be so great.....

HIPPIES!!

I joined Wheatsville Co-op, a cooperative grocery here in Austin. Members get 7% discount and every now and then (I'm not sure how often) they have a Member Appreciation Day, when we get 10% off. It's like a small Whole Foods and much closer to my house. They have all kinds of great stuff and the prices are pretty good. I can't afford to get everything there, but I can get some stuff and their organic produce is great. They buy from local farmers, so everything is spectacularly fresh, and it supporting local business, which I'm all for. Of course, Whole Foods started here in Austin, so it's a local business too, but it's too far away to shop there regularly.

the Cutting Edge (57% dark, 42% spontaneous, 21% vulgar)

your humor style: CLEAN | SPONTANEOUS | DARK Your humor's mostly innocent and off-the-cuff, but somehow there's something slightly menacing about you. Part of your humor is making people a little uncomfortable, even if the things you say aren't themselves confrontational. You probably have a very dry delivery, or are seriously over-the-top. Your type is the most likely to appreciate a good insult and/or broken bone and/or very very fat person dancing. PEOPLE LIKE YOU: David Letterman - John Belushi The 3-Variable Funny Test! - it rules - If you're interested, try my best friend's best test: The Genghis Khan Genetic Fitness Masterpiece

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on darkness You scored higher than 99% on spontaneity You scored higher than 99% on vulgarity

Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

This is so true. Whenever I make a joking comment at work, I'm usually met with silence, except from a couple of the loan officers and our underwriter, who all share my vulgar sense of humor. We're also the most educated people in the area. Coincidence? I think not.

Dinsy in the snow

it's Ween-ter!

Had to go to work this morning. I left Adrian sleeping in a nice, warm bed and made my way through the cold and wet streets to my office. I only worked until 10:15 then left for my appointment with the pain specialist. The doctor thought that I may have problems with a couple of vertebrae in my neck and lower back and my body trying to compensate for it is what's causing the pain. She also told me that I still had the scoliosis I had in junior high, which sent me to a chiropractor 3 to 4 days a week for several years then. I thought he had gotten rid of it, but no.....She gave me a new prescription for Lyrica, which I've been on for some time now, but at a much larger dose. My regular doctor hadn't been giving me a therapeutic dose, apparently. I also have to see a "pain counselor" and get an MRI on my back and neck.

Now for the shit news: The one psychiatrist who called me back and agreed to see me this Wednesday left a message on our answering machine last Friday night, saying that after talking to my doctor, she "doesn't think she can help me, so let's cancel the appointment, OK?" She recommended a couple of shrinks who might help me, but upon further research, I found that they only do research studies and don't see patients. WTF??? Can't help me? She didn't even speak to me, except to get my contact information. What is my doc telling people about me? That phone message prompted a hearty round of profanity from me. I had spent 2 weeks calling 25-30 different shrinks and she was the ONLY one who agreed to see me before March or even returned my calls. Now I can't be helped? Fuck this shit.....

Chris Rea

Chris Rea is one of those musical artists who are terrifically popular everywhere around the world except here. Seems like the rest of the world has better taste than we do, imagine THAT.
I've been a fan of his since his 1st LP "Whatever Happened To Benny Santini?" came out in 1978. His one big American hit "Fool (If You Think It's Over)" was on that LP and it has been one of my favorite records since then.


Rea is known for his gravelly, smoky voice and blues guitar playing, and he had a world-wide Number One hit (except here, of course) with "The Road To Hell".


He had to stop touring after a bad bout with cancer that left him without a pancreas, gallbladder and duodenum. He still makes music though and paints too. He has a new "musical book" out called Blue Guitars: a 11 cd set, with a live DVD and a book of his paintings included.

Why isn't he more famous here in the US? Chris Rea is amazing....

Misery Goat

My doctor made an appointment for me to see a pain management specialist on Monday. Perhaps, he'll tell me to go home and get some rest after I see him and I'll get Martin Luther King Day off, like everyone else. Or maybe I'll have to go to work.
Then, one of the 25 psychiatrists I called finally called me back and agreed to see me next Wednesday. I get to leave work early that day. Maybe my misery goat is on its way out the door......

Projects

We have a composting bin that came with the house. I have no idea how to use it. We recently put out about 12 thirty gallon bags of leaves for the garbage men to take away, so maybe I should do some reading up on how to compost. It would probably benefit the bare patches in the back yard......
Also, we need to get a bat house. Bats eat huge amounts of flying insects, so we'd be able to sit outside without being plagued by mosquitoes. We bought a little plastic birdhouse today to provide entertainment for the cat. I'd also like to get a nice birdbath for the flower patch right outside the back door. We've already got some nice strings of lights to put up in the trees. We also want to get some rolls of reed fencing to give us some privacy from the house directly behind us. It's empty now, but it probably won't be for much longer.....
My primary care doctor wants me to see a psychiatrist in order to get back on meds for depression. I've called all the one on my insurance company list and they're either not accepting new patients, can't see me until March or just won't return my calls. I've got to do something about it soon, because the pain is depressing me further, as is just not sleeping well. I've been almost panicky about it at times. I feel like I want to crawl into bed and sleep for a week, but I can't do that. I have to work. I can't put my job at risk.

Bad Day

The pain is really bad today. I felt so bad at work that I snuck off twice to the ladies room to cry. It's hard to describe. It feels like I've been beaten with a baseball bat; very, very sore and throbbing, all over my body, almost like I'm radiating with pain. My face was numb from hyperventilating all day.....
When we got home, I took one of Adrian's oxycodone that he had left over after his gum surgery, and it just took the edge off the pain. Now I'll have another night of waking up every time I shift position in bed, because the pain will shoot through me and startle me awake.
And it's raining again......

I wish everyone would....just...FUCK OFF. NOW.

Ex-Mas

We had a nice, pleasant xmas this year. This was the first time Adrian and I have been able to spend a holiday together. Usually, he went to his family and I went to mine, but this year we decided to stay home and be together for the first time in 17 years. His brothers and sisters and a brother-in-law came from Dallas to spend the time with us, and our pal Stainze came over too. Adrian cooked a huge batch of his mom's dressing recipe, which turned out wonderful, and there were many desserts.
Adrian and I usually wait until January to get gifts for each other because we almost always never have any extra $$ in December, for various reasons. We just did stocking stuffers. He got me a beautiful pair of earrings that I saw at BookPeople and an Origins gift card. I got him some DVDs of old classroom sex and hygiene education films from the 40s and 50s, a book of weird photos and some malted milk balls.
Adrian has the whole week off, but I'm back at work today. Not much to do, but I'm gettin' paid to do it.....
Happy New Year to all of y'all!

The American Way

Here we see Curly of the Three Stooges dealing with a terroristic bowl of oyster soup the good old American way......

Callllllllll for Super Chicken

I miss Super Chicken. It was one of my fave cartoons when I was a kid. I watched it everyday after school, along with Tom Slick, the Mighty Heroes, Wacky Racers (with Penelope Pitstop) and the Banana Splits.
On Saturday mornings, the lineup was Bugs Bunny, Scooby Doo (when they had guest stars like Mama Cass and Sandy Duncan), Fat Albert and the Children's International Film Festival with Kukla, Fran and Ollie.
Sunday mornings was the Childrens Hour with Bill Kelly, which had Davey and Goliath, old Merrie Melodies cartoons and Bill would read the funny papers, then the Osmonds and the Jackson 5 both had cartoons as well.
On weekdays before school, it was Slam Bang Theatre with Icky Twerp, and his ape pals Ajax and Delphinium playing cartoons and Three Stooges shorts.
Back then, nobody was trying to sell us stuff to go with the cartoons, we just watched them because they were funny.

drugs are not fun

My doc switched me to Cymbalta and is taking me off Lyrica and imipramine. The Cymbalta is supposed to be better for sleeping and chronic pain, but I'm having a rough time with it after being on it only 3 days. My jaw hurts terribly, almost like it's out of the socket, and that also makes my ear and my entire head hurt. I looked up the side effects and "jaw pain" wasn't one of them, so I don't know if it's from going on the new drug or going off the old one. It's really bad. At least I'm sleeping better.
I need to get food for all the people who are coming next weekend. I hope I feel better by then.

Rap is short for Crap

Adrian and I found out (thanks to the Austin Chronicle) that we now live in the epicenter of Austin's rap culture:
http://www.austinchronicle.com/gyrobase/Issue/story?oid=oid%3A421144
Perhaps I should get some bling and a grill? Or a gun maybe?

Cheap Date

That's me. A new liquor/fine foods store opened up in the hood yesterday, so I went by to check it out. They had sampling stations all over the store and by the time I got to check out, i was seriously wondering if I would be able to drive home. The store is called Spec's and they have loads of them all over Houston, apparently. You get a small discount when you pay with cash or debit card. The booze is so cheap, I actually bought a bottle of Tito's Handmade Vodka, thinking I'd like to come home from a hard day at work to a nice, chilled vodka tonic. I also spent over $40 on cheeses, coffee and crackers and such. Spec's is now my favorite store.
When I got home I tried out the vodka tonic. It promptly gave me a rather pleasant case of the bedspins and then put me to sleep, like booze always does. I didn't inherit the alcoholic gene that runs in part of my family, because one drink makes me fall asleep and two drinks make me puke. So just call me a CHEAP DATE.

more migraine fun

Stayed home today nursing a migraine. I took Adrian to the bus stop, then came home and fell asleep on the couch until afternoon. I found the crockpot I had been wanting at HEB for less than $20 Monday night, so I tried out my Moroccan Chick Pea Soup recipe in it and it came out great. We had that for dinner tonight, and I have plenty leftover for lunch tomorrow. I'll be utilizing the crockpot quite a bit in the future.
My cousin Tracey is curious about silent film. Film history has always been interesting to me. I've always preferred older movies to the more current ones, mostly for the same reasons I prefer old furniture and old houses: they made them better back then. The characters were more developed, as were the stories. Silent movies I find particularly fascinating because you can see how people lived and dressed up to more than 100 years ago (film history starts in the 1870s). Kino Video has put out a series of DVDs called The Movies Begin. It contains the earliest motion studies from Eadweard Muybridge to the 1903 version of The Great Train Robbery that included footage of an oncoming train that made panicked audiences bolt from their seats; to early comedians like Frenchman Max Linder, who influenced Charlie Chaplin, early animation from Winsor McCay (an adorable dinosaur that surely influenced Walt Disney) to the early experiments of the Lumiere Brothers and Georges Melies' A Trip To The Moon (1902).
My own list of fave silents would include far more European films than American ones, purely for the reason that, in other than comedies, American films were made for the lowest common denominator, much like today. European directors tended to give their audiences more intelligence. And yes, I prefer German Expressionism, but American comedies cannot be beat.
1. The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (Germany) -R. Wiene - 1919
2. Die Buchse Der Pandora (Germany) - GW Pabst 1928
3. Faust (Germany) - FW Murnau - 1926
4. Steamboat Bill, Jr. - (USA) Buster Keaton 1928
5. Speedy - (USA) - Harold Lloyd 1928
6. Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans - (USA) - FW Murnau 1927
7. Nosferatu - (Germany) - FW Murnau 1922
8. The Gold Rush - (USA) - Charlie Chaplin 1925
9. Flesh and the Devil - (USA) - Clarence Brown 1926
10. The Student of Prague - (Germany) - Henrik Galeen 1926

I included an American film that wasn't a comedy, Flesh and the Devil. This film starred Greta Garbo (in one of her very first American films) and her real-life lover John Gilbert, the George Clooney of the 1920s. Their lust for each other is so apparent, it's a wonder this film got past the censors. If it had been made just 8 years later when the Hays Code was passed in 1934, it wouldn't have been released at all! Hot stuff....
The Student of Prague and Faust are both morality tales: what happens when you sell your soul to the Devil? There's an earlier version of Student, but it stars Paul Wegener, who is most unfortunate looking. I prefer the better acting (and better looking) Conrad Veidt in the later version. Faust's cinematography is spellbinding, especially for such an early film. The whole film is very stylish.
What can one say about Nosferatu? Max Schreck was the most creepy looking SOB in Germany and this role was made for him. This film is a must for Halloween viewing. It really is extremely creepy...
Buster Keaton and Harold Lloyd I find much more entertaining than Chaplin. Bear in mind that these guys didn't use stunt men, which makes their movies all the more amazing to watch. Harold Lloyd had only part of his right hand, due to an explosion during a photo shoot in 1918, but that's him you see hanging from the clock in Safety Last. The bit in Steamboat Bill, Jr. when the house falls down around Keaton is spellbinding.....
So, if you're looking to get into silent movies, I'd recommend starting with the above.....

I....I....I......

Adrian and I went to IKEA in Round Rock today. It was....overwhelming, to say the least. We spent over 2 hours walking around, "wallowing in pine and Norsemen", as my pal Shelly says. Adrian said he wasn't going to spend any money, but he ended up spending twice as much as I did. LOL
I got 3 wooden magazine holders, a toilet brush and holder, some wooden hangers and a computer wire tube thingy. He bought some magazine holders, a plastic chair mat, a wastebasket for his bathroom and something else I can't remember.
I'm exhausted now. IKEA is a wonderplace and will probably get far too much of my money in the near future....

Cold

Ahhhh, winter in Central Texas: bright sunshine, 30 degrees in the morning, 55 degrees in the afternoon. No snow, no ice, no high winds, just bee-yootiful weather. Makes me want to fire up the chiminea and eat Mexican food.....
We rented Die Buchse der Pandora (Pandora's Box), the 1928 German silent version starring Louise Brooks, directed by G.W. Pabst. I'd been wanting to see it for some time and Criterion Films has just released a 2DVD set of the remastered film:
"This classic silent German film tells of Lulu, a sensual chorus girl whose uncontainable sexual power literally destroys every man with whom she has an affair, until she encounters one of history's most notorious killers - Jack the Ripper. Considered particularly shocking at the time of its release because of the suggestion of a lesbian attraction between Lulu and a Countess. Brooks is at her sultry finest."
The remastering is amazing. The images are sharp and memorable, and Louise Brooks is, of course, staggering in her role as Lulu. If you've never seen a silent film, this is an excellent first choice. This was her first film in Germany after fleeing Hollywood and it made her an international star and an icon.

Ahhhhhh, Tuesday.....how boring.

Holidaze

Back home now.....a relatively pain-free trip. Pleasant (mostly) visits with the family, lots of great food, not a whole lot of traffic (on the way back anyway). Nobody died by my hand, so I can honestly say it was a huge success.
We put up the Yule tree Sunday and so far, Dinsy hasn't paid much attention to it. I had envisioned broken ornaments and garland strewn everywhere within mere minutes, but a firm "NO DINSY GET AWAYYYYYYYY!!!!" whenever she wandered too near did the trick, I guess. She does like to climb, as you can see by the pic.....

Turk-EE Day

Thanksgiving is upon us once again and I can say truthfully this year that I have many things to be thankful for. I have a wonderful husband, a cool kitty, great friends and a beautiful new house, not to mention relatively good health at the moment. No car problems, got enough money for bills and groceries, I still like my job and co-workers.....I can't find anything to bitch about, so I won't.
Happy Thanksgiving!

Drugs are good

The colonoscopy was clear. I'm not as full of shit as I (and probably everyone around me) thought I was. Sunday was terrible, far worse than the actual procedure. Adrian's sisters came over to watch football and they brought loads of great food, none of which I could eat. All I could do was drink my laxatives, which were thoroughly disgusting, and run off to the back bathroom every now and then. Of the procedure itself, all I remember was somebody wheeling me on a gurney down the hall, then Adrian waking me up and saying it was time to go home.
I slept most of Monday, after eating a hamburger and taking an Oxycodone, then Adrian and Vicki and I went out to Hoover's for supper, Amy's for ice cream and then visited some head shops. A nice evening, but I conked out relatively early.

Pain

Because of the impending colonoscopy tomorrow, I can't eat anything today. I can only drink clear liquids and I have to take these killer laxatives all day to clean myself out. I've also had to go all week without taking any Naproxen, which pretty much makes me able to function without pain. I feel like an arthritic 80 year old. I'll be glad when tomorrow is over......

Adrian and I have decided to spend xmas here at home. Maybe we can convince our friends and family to spend it here with us? I'm going to order xmas dinner from Wheatsville or Whole Foods and just make a whole bunch of desserts to go with it. I'm looking forward to it. I'm kind of dreading Thanksgiving. Visiting some members of my family can be rather trying. Other members I look forward to seeing very much. That's probably true of everyone.....

the Happy Monkey

I think we should all aspire to the maniacal contentment displayed by this monkey...

Poo Poo and Dookey

Yesterday I went to see a gastroenterologist about scheduling my first colonoscopy. The nurse and doctor were suitably horrified at my family history of cancer on both sides, and the doc asked me to schedule it ASAP. I found it amusing that the nurse (a woman older than me) kept referring to "poo poo" and "dookey", rather than feces or even shit. I don't look 41, but I don't look 6 either.....
She told me that colon, breast, ovarian and uterine cancers are all linked, and I've had all those in my first and second-degree relatives, along with stomach cancer, skin cancer, brain cancer and pancreatic cancer. I'm not being pessimistic when I say it's a matter of time before I have cancer too, I think I'm just being realistic. So, I try to stay on top of my health, which isn't great to start with. Some people interpret that as hypochondria, but I just don't want what happened to my mom to happen to me. If my insurance would pay to have my ovaries out now, I'd rip those suckers out so fast, I'd probably grow an instant mustache. But no.....I have to keep them until "there's a problem". So menopause will have to wait....

Yardwork and Food

I picked up all the loose sticks and leaves in the back yard this morning and burnt them in the chiminea. Adrian is edging the front yard now, then we'll start up the grill for some hamburgers. It's a perfect day for eating outide: overcast, not too cool and no more flying bugs.
Tonight, if Adrian feels up to it (he had another tooth extraction yesterday), we'll go downtown to see The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari with live music at the Alamo Drafthouse. Caligari is my fave silent film and I've never seen it in a theatre, or with live music, so that should be a treat. The Alamo is like the Granada in Dallas, a theatre where you can eat and drink while you watch the film. They also have theme weeks, like a whole week of westerns and they'll serve steaks and beans, stuff like that. Or when they show a movie about food, like "My Dinner With Andre" and "My Breakfast With Blassie" on a double-feature, they'll serve the appropriate meal to coincide with the goings-on onscreen. It's a fun place to see a show.....

Samhain

We actually had little kid trick-or-treaters last night, no 30-year-old Mexican men with Zapata mustaches and pillowcases in this neighborhood. We ran out of candy and had to turn off the porch light and still they knocked, to no avail. All the little ones actually said "thank you" for their candy. We'll have to really do it up next Halloween. We got caught short this year, what with moving and all.
It's nice and chilly here now, like it should be in November. I wish we could find some sugar skulls close by. They're probably all over south Austin, there's loads of Mexican bakeries down there.
I neglected my Samhain ritual again this year. How embarrassing. I guess I'm a non-practicing pagan.....

Yesterday was better

Had breakfaat with a new friend yesterday, a lady I became acquainted with from LiveJournal. She and I have much in common, so we had a very nice visit. It was pleasant to meet someone here in town that I'll be able to hang out with on accasion. It's always nice to meet a new friend.
Dinsy woke us up at 6am by tearing down the string of skeleton lights we had strung up in the front window. I found little plastic skeleton parts strewn throughout the front room and the living room, and she had bitten the chord through as well. Since she was being a shit cat, she got very little attention this morning, not as much cuddling as she's used to.
We also went to the Record Convention. Adrian bought a DVD of Phantom of the Paradise and a Beatles t-shirt, and I bought a Joy Division DVD. Our buddy John talked Adrian into working there for him today for a couple of hours, so I'm hanging out at home alone, trying to get rid of an oncoming migraine.

I like being old.....so fuck you!

Today was a beautiful day. The temp stayed in the 70s, the sun shone, not a cloud in the sky. Work was slow, so I got a lot done. It's a bit too windy, or we'd be sitting outside burning sticks in the chiminea.....
Tomorrow, we'll go vote early for Kinky Friedman. He doesn't have much chance of winning, but I like the feeling of being able to vote FOR someone instead of against someone for once. Yes, I honestly believe that he would do some good for the state of Texas, and I don't think that his lack of experience in the political arena will do him harm. The Governor surrounds himself or herself with people who actually do the work.
All those snotty college students who consider Kinky to be a joke need to find a sense of humor. It helps make life easier when you can laugh at yourself and life. When I was 20 years old, I thought everything was a matter of life and death, and that sort of attitude will make you old before your time and a terrible bore to boot. I read all these posts from young people (especially on LiveJournal) and it's all about what they can't eat because it has chemicals or bad karma, or what they can't wear because it once had a face and roamed a pasture. And goddess forbid, if you happen to disagree with them, they'll rip you a new asshole. I mean, if that's what floats your boat, then whatever, but what a sad existence, to worry about every little thing. If it bothers you that much, DO something about it, don't just bitch about it.
I'm so glad to be 41. I wouldn't go back to my 20s for all the money in the world.

We have the best video store in the entire universe here: I Luv Video on Airport Blvd. It's 2 stories of videos and DVDs of every genre you can name, from silent movies to foreign to porno to etc., etc., etc. Movies are not only classifed under genre and title but by director too. It's an amazing place. Plus, if you bring your new releases back early, you get a free rental. I've rented stuff there that I would never have seen anywhere else. I used to think Premier Video in Dallas was great, but this place makes it look like a Blockbuster Video.
End of puff post.....

Austin radio is.....different

A conversation I just had with my husband:

Me: Is the toilet still running?

Him: No, that's something on the radio.

Me: Are you sure? It sounds just like the toilet running.

Him: No, it's the radio, listen. (he turns down the volume and the sound goes away).

Me: What record is that that sounds like a toilet running?

Him: I don't know, but the show is called "Commercial Suicide."

Booger Bears

I was looking at website that lists supposedly "haunted" places in Texas and was dismayed to find that my hometown of Greenville is not listed at all. I did, however, find it listed on a site that lists Bigfoot sitings by state: http://www.texasbigfoot.com/Fate779.html
Has Bigfoot Moved To Texas? So while Greenvile can't boast any haints, it seems to have a supply of "booger bears" or skunk apes. This doesn't surprise me in the least. Anyone with any common sense at all would get the hell out of Greenville as soon as possible and they certainly wouldn't stick around after death. But, there have always been loads of stinking things in the vicinity of Hunt County, and I mean only partially the church folks.
My uncle Larry told me once of a near miss with a booger bear (?) out at a pond in the woods near Campbell, Texas. Campbell is the place I usually tell people I'm from because I'm embarrassed as shit to be from Greenville. Anyway, he was fishing at this pond out in the woods with his dog. Suddenly, the dog starts cowering and runs under the truck and my uncle notices a terrible stench in the air. Church people around, you say? Not bloody likely. It was on a Sunday evening when they'd all be in church pretending. Then, an unearthly howl split the air, causing a chill to run up my uncle's spine. My uncle is a Vietnam vet and he's not easily frightened. He decided it was time to pack up and split for home. As he was loading up the truck, he noticed some unusual tracks that he couldn't recognize. They were too big to be a regular bear's tracks. So, he was being stalked by a booger bear.......that's his story and he's sticking to it, even after all these years.
I remember going to the theatre to see The Legend of Boggy Creek when I was a kid and it scared the crap out of me. That monster was allegedly in Fouke, Arkansas, right next to Texarkana. I rented it again a few years ago and laughed through most of it, but it did have genuinely creepy parts. I like the idea that there's something out there that people don't quite know everything about.....ah, sweet mystery of life!

Yes, I feel old

I turned 41 yesterday. I worked until 4pm. My co-worker took me to lunch and my boss gave me a small chocolate cake. I was still feeling crappy from the migraine I had the day before, so I wasn't running on full steam. I came home and fell asleep for awhile.
Today Adrian and I went grocery shopping for him because his mouth is still very sore from the surgery. We bought lots of soups and soft foods, vienna sausages (bleah!), etc. Then we came back home and I fell asleep again. Now I still feel like crap, like the migraine is threatening to come back. At least I remembered to get the Relpax refilled........

The alien in my head

I woke up today with a crushing migraine and worked all day long. The headache never relented. My left eye threatened to close up and kept tearing up. I finally got my Relpax precription refilled but I didn't take one until I got home at 6:30, so it didn't help. So, I took a Phenergan at 8pm. I baked some cookies, ate some Ramen noodles and now I'm gazing one-eyed at the computer screen.
At last, the temp out side is more fall-like. I can turn 41 tomorrow in comfort now....

A day at home

Adrian had major oral surgery today. They slit his gums open and scraped his teeth down to the roots, then sewed him back up. I brought him home this morning, gave him some pudding and a pain killer, then helped him to the sofa for a snooze. When he woke up later, he didn't remember getting home, taking the pill or eating the pudding he had to take his pill with. Now, THAT'S some good drugs!
I got some clothes I ordered in the mail today. Nice to see that they were actually the right size and good quality. I ordered some clothes from Land's End a while back, 3 shirts all the same size. One shirt fit me, one was way too big and one was too small. The material was cheap. I'll never order from them again.
I wish it would get cool. I don't like that it's nearly my birthday and it's still 90 degrees aoutside. That sucks. I should be able to wear long sleeves by this time of year. I went to get a sandwich for lunch and it was HOT. It's not supposed to be this hot in October, dammit.....

House Lurve

A nice day....went to the City-Wide Garage Sale, but didn't find anything that screamed out to come home with me. Had lunch at Shoal Creek Saloon, then went to Cheapo and bought two CDs: Neko Case's "Black Listed" and Revenge "One True Passion". I've been on a New Order/Joy Division kick, so Revenge fits the bill. It's a Peter Hook side project, kinda club type music.
We came home and watched "The Miracle Worker", then puttered about in the back yard. I lit the chiminea after loading it up with stick and fallen leaves from the yard while Adrian mowed. I love my back yard.......now I'm finishing up laundry and wondering what to get for supper. Like I said, a nice day.....

For Austin drivers.......

An Unpleasant Surprise

I "surprised" a loan officer at work yesterday morning. I go to his office early in the morning to deliver a fax confirmation. His door is closed and it looks like there's no light coming from underneath, so I fling open the door. A woman (who is not his very pregnant wife) is sitting on his lap. She springs up, he hunches over, I shout "Excuse me!" and slam the door shut. This idiot's wife is pregnant for the second time within a year and he's "entertaining" some skank......nice.
I go back to my desk and about 5 minutes later, Lover Boy comes over. Staring at the floor, he mumbles, "Hey, nothing was going on, she's an old friend, we were talking about her kids, just wanted you to know". I just calmly looked him straight in the eye and said, "It's NONE of my business. By the way, how's your wife?" He mumbles that she's fine and asks if I'm having trouble with any of his files. "No."
"Well, OK then...hey nobody needs to know about this, OK?"
You mean your co-workers or your wife, asshole? Fucking prick. He steered clear of me the rest of the day.....
Then it dawned on me that the skank he was fooling around with was this woman who came in to apply for a loan officer position a few days ago. I was at the front desk answering the phones, and she said that she was a friend of X's and could I let him know that she was there? I buzzed him and he came out and greeted her with a long hug and a decidedly non-friendly kiss on the lips. He better think twice if he thinks he can get away with that crap at the office.......somebody's on to him.

I'm here to stay

I think I will keep this blog as my only one for now. My other one has gotten boring and too competitive. Everyone writes as if there's a contest to see who can write the most politically correct piece of crap. This blog will be my journal. I write like I talk; not grammatically correct and I don't CARE. Yes, I have an English degree, but it's in Linguistics, not Grammar. I can tell you about the etymology of a certain word, but I couldn't give a flying fuck about whether to use "who or whom".
I've finally figured the secret of sleeping well in this new house. It's the ceiling fan. I usually don't like the fan on when I sleep because it dries me out too much, but I've been waking 4 and 5 times a night, most of the time bathed in sweat. We keep the temp at 75, so I was convinced that I was finally beginning menopause, but leaving the fan on at night has cured me of my difficulties. I slept very well last night and the pain was considerably less today.
Adrian won a contest at Groovy Automotive. We signed up a couple of weeks ago when we took the Cougar in to get fixed. He won a couple of very nice car coffee cups, fancy ones. I picked them up on the way home. I brought a co-worker home at lunch today to see the house. She's extremely allergic to cats, so naturally Dinsy, who usually hides when strangers come in, was following her around, rubbing against her legs and meowing. Being her usual, adorable furry self. "No, kitty, go away.....please?" I finally had to pick Dinsy up to keep her from tormenting my co-worker.

This is where I was born, grew up, went to school and escaped from as soon as I could. The sign hung over Lee Street downtown for years until the NAACP made the city take it down. "The Blackest Land" refers to northeast Texas, known as the Blackland Prairie. The soil is jet black because of the mineral content. "The Whitest People"....well, you can draw your own conclusions. My mother worked for the City of Greenville, running the print shop, and after that sign was taken down, it was stored, in pieces, in her office. I use to see it when I went to work with her in the summers. I asked my mom once what made us whiter than other white people, but all she would tell me was "that's not what that means".
Greenville is also the place where Lenelle Geter, a black aerospace engineer at E-Systems, was imprisoned for years for a robbery of a KFC store in Balch Springs (almost an hour away) which he did not do. Apparently, the Greenville Police thought he could drive all the way to Balch Springs, rob and shoot up a KFC restaurant, then drive back and go back to work, all on his lunch hour. He eventually got out and sued the city and won.....
Greenville is also the place where a young black boy was drowned in 3 feet of water at a city pool while surrounded by older white boys and it was deemed "accidental".
My family has been in Greenville or Hunt County since the late 1800s. I don't even like going back to visit my family in that place........

We're in like Flynn

Adrian and I are finally in our new house. We started sleeping here Friday night and we're almost totally finished clearing out the old place. We're both taking Monday off to finish it up, so we can start the cleaning part, which I always dread.....
I LOVE this new house! I can't believe I actually own a house this nice. Dinsy loves it too. She's been running around and checking things out, but she's decided that it's home. She's made herself very comfortable, right from the start.
Wow.....I'm a homeowner.

Again

Those damned voices are in my head again. I know it's because I'm stressed out and exhausted from the long move and not sleeping well. They just keep popping up: "you'll die early like your mother"......"if Adrian dies before you, you'll kill yourself"....."you won't enjoy the house because you'll get really sick soon and die".......
I'm just waiting for this month to be over, so I can be in our new house and try to rest. I'm so tired and achy I feel like I'm coming down with the flu, but I know that the fibromyalgia. It makes me feel constantly like I've been run over by a truck. We've had to do this entire move by ourselves, and it should not take two people an entire month to move a two-bedroom house. We just have entirely too much crap.
I have no problem intellectually with getting older, but physically, it really sucks.

tired......

Painting, repairing, cleaning....and more painting. That's what skeleton and I have been doing for the last week. He repaired the hole in the living room wall, I cleaned the kitchen and the bathrooms, we both painted and are still painting. It's a BIG place, at least to us it is. We'll actually have room for everything. We'll be able to see records and books that we've had stored up in boxes for years.But for now, I'm just tired......

Music-related dream

Last night I dreamed that I was in a Taco Bell with the band New Order and Britney Spears and her entourage came in: baby, white trash husband and all. A ferocious hurricane was blowing outside, so we were all stuck there. Britney looked at each member of New Order like "don't you want my autograph?" and the members of New Order were looking around with expressions that said "get me the fuck out of here!! NOW!" and completely ignoring Britney, causing some consternation among her bodyguards, who whispered to each other.Then I woke up. The hurricane made me want to go to the bathroom.

Wh-huh??

The seller has agreed to pony up $8800 for plumbing repairs, which is the figure that the plumber his realtor found came up with (how's that for a badly composed sentence?). I can't believe it. That means that the seller is basically going to make no money at all from the sale of this house. He didn't agree to also replace the breaker box; that will be up to hubby and I to deal with, but at least we can roll that cost into the financing and not take too much of a hit payment-wise. I don't want to jinx it, but we may actually get this house after all.....
Went to my semi-yearly visit to the neurologist today. I asked her about going off the Topamax since it fucks with my memory and coordination, not to mention having to search for words constantly. It's hard to convince people that I have a BA in Linguistics when I'm going "duh, duh....." like a retard. She gave me loads of samples of my migraine meds and told me to just go down on the dosage of the Topamax and that should take care of it. She also told me that I HAVE to get more sleep (HA!!!) and gave me an article about the relationship between migraines and insomnia. She wants me to start taking melatonin at night to help with the sleep. Sure, why not? I've tried everything else......
I still have some cookie dough left! Hot damn!

the wild cat has left the building

Sophie has gone to her new home with a very nice family! I repeat, Sophie is GONE!

I get what I want

I just made a big batch of mint chocolate chip cookie dough in my new food processor. Now, instead of baking the cookies, I'm eating huge forkfuls of the raw dough. It's minty, chocolatey goodness.....there's nothing better than raw cookie dough.
I like my new food processor too. I had to fight off some old ladies at Tuesday Morning to get it. They can get quite stroppy with their walkers and canes, but I'm taller, faster and 40 years younger. I got my Cuisinart and left the oldies wobbling on their walkers......
Now, back to the cookie dough....

Once again.....

Great.....this house has a $10k plumbing leak too. The seller is considering making the necessary repairs, but we won't know for sure until tomorrow morning. The seller is now wanting to terminate and look for bids to do the repairs and we're trying to convince him to just extend our option instead while he's looking for someone to do the repairs. He may want to put the house back on the market at a higher price, since he's not making much profit, especially if he's paying for this.
I feel bad for the guy, I really do. I remember going through all this when I was trying to sell Mom's house. Some buyers wanted everything; I remember one lady wanted me to pay for a new bathtub because she didn't like Mom's jacuzzi tub. Another wanted new carpeting because the color didn't suit her. I refused both of those, of course. I did end up getting stuck for a new roof, only because the realtor I was using was selling the house to a friend of hers and told her that the roof was old (it wasn't) and she told me that the house wouldn't sell at all unless I did replace it. I went to that closing sobbing, knowing that I was getting completely screwed out of the house that my mother had loved so much. My grandfather had built it, I had installed and stained all the cabinetry myself. This realtor has known that I was grieving for my mother who had died only months before and had completely taken advantage of me because it had taken longer to sell than she thought. So she unloaded it at a deep discount to a pal of hers and I was left with not even enough money to pay off the remainder of my college loan.

Houses & Kitties

The house has a plumbing problem; how bad, we don't know yet. The seller is having the plumbing looked at today and will let us know if they want to pay to have it fixed. The is another case of "can't sell the house without fixing the problem", but the seller may not have the money, who knows?
Sophie the kitty still hates our guts after 3 weeks now. I placed an ad on Craigslist and a nice man who rescues cats answered it. He doesn't have room for her at the moment, but he's working with me to find a home for her. Dinsy has lost her fear of Sophie now. Dinsy has no problem waltzing into the bedroom and giving Sophie the kitty version of "neener neener", which prompts a huge explosion of hissing and growling from Sophie, while Dinsy strolls back up to me as if to say "this is MY house, don't you forget it!" I wish it could have been Sophie's house too, but she just won't get with the program......

house inspection

The inspection went fairly well; only the hot water heater leaks, the shower pan needs changing and the breaker box needs to be replaced, along with a lot of piddly stuff. Now for the plumbing test today......*teeth chatter, knees tremble*

YAYY!!!!!

They accepted our offer this time! The house will be ours......hopefully this one won't have the problems that the other one had........

Two kitties are NOT better than one......

This kitty may not be for us. She fooled us a bit on Sunday, but since then, she hasn't really let us come near her without a huge show of hissing, spitting and growling. We've tried everything we can think of and she's just not liking us at all. I called her vet this morning and asked for advice and they said that she may be too old to accept a new family, let alone another cat. So, they said they would call me if anybody called wanting a cat.
I really hate this. The woman who gave her to us told me that she was friendly toward other cats and that she was just past the kitten stage herself, like our Dinsy. Turns out that Sophie is over 6 years old, the vet tells me. I wanted to email the woman but Adrian said that would be a bad idea. Sophie is our problem kitty now, we'll deal with her.
I so wanted another kitty for Dinsy to play with. Dinsy wants a playmate too; she was so curious about Sophie, but now she's scared to death.

A nice, quiet Sunday

Sophie is doing a bit better today. She doesn't run and hide when we come into the bedroom, and even meows quietly when we say her name. She let me scratch her under the chin without freaking out, but I got a small half-hearted hiss afterward. I put a few drops of Rescue Remedy in her water dish and that seemed to help. I had forgotten I had some in my purse. That stuff helped me tremendously when my mom was ill. Plus, we slept in the same room with her all night, so I think she's getting used to us.
Oh no! Rush is on TV, an old film of them playing "Tom Sawyer". I remember seeing them on the Midnight Special back in the Seventies. I remember looking at Geddy Lee and thinking "that's the ugliest woman I've ever seen in my life!" He hasn't gotten any better looking either.....Get thee behind me, Geddy!!!

World War Three

Oh, the hissing, spitting and growling that going on in this house! And it's pretty much just from Sophie, poor little kitty. She's just had her whole world changed and now these strange new people want her to make friends with another kitty too? On the same day?
After I got bitten once, I figured that maybe she would prefer to be alone in the bedroom for a while until she gets used to all the strangeness. She promptly wedged herself underneath my 1920s vanity table, in a tiny little space under one of the drawers. Any mention of her name is greeted with a growl and a hiss and if I put my hand on the floor next to her, she swats at me.
This is not a happy kitty. I hope she can eventually calm down.....

Two kitties are better than one

We're going to take a break from house hunting and get a playmate for our kitty, Dinsdale. Sophie will join our household this weekend! Dinsy's been so bored, maybe she and Sophie will get along well and play together. I hope, anyway..........

I'm so tired...I haven't slept a wink

The house has been on the market for over 21 days and the seller has recently lowered the price. He refused our initial offer AND our counter offer which was just $5000 shy of his full asking price.
FUCK THIS SHIT.

Back to the grind......

We've been looking at other houses lately and have made an offer on a very nice one in east Austin. It's in a very nice neighborhood, and comes with newish appliances. The house itself has two large bedrooms, two bathrooms and a fireplace. The seller has made a counter offer and we're still waiting to hear whether our counter offer has been accepted or not. We may have to leave this one too.....
I'm really sick of house hunting.

Syd Barrett RIP 1946-2006

Goodbye, Syd........

Full Stop

The house is over and done with. It won't be ours. There is a $10,000 plumbing leak that the seller refuses to fix. He is instead going to lower the price and put it back on the market. Since the house would not pass an FHA appraisal or house inspection, we are out of the picture.
The slimy realtor actually called me at work to suggest an "alternate plan", which consisted of "not telling FHA since they wouldn't find out anyway, and the seller could just give you the money to fix it yourselves". It was brave of him in several ways, firstly considering the manner in which our last telephone conversation ended, where I yelled at him and hung up on him; and secondly, because I work for a MORTGAGE COMPANY AND CAN REPORT HIS SLIMY UNETHICAL ASS TO THE TEXAS BOARD OF REALTORS. What a fucking piece of work this guy is.....
So....back to the drawing board. At least we have a nice ethical and hardworking realtor that we will be working with in the future and we won't ever have to deal with this slime ball again.

Songs that make me go "ahhhhh"

Everyone has their favorite songs, but there are some songs that give me a physical, almost visceral reaction. These go beyond being mere "favorites"; hearing them become necessary to my happiness in life, even if I just listen to them once every year or so. These songs are so important to me that I could literally listen to them over and over again for hours and not get tired. I did exactly that when I was a kid, much to my mother's consternation. I would play the same song over and over and over, getting the same thrill every time and discovering new facets of the recording in each listening. I considered this part of my "training in progress" at the time; I wanted to be a record producer. Fuck that, I wanted to be Brian Wilson or Phil Spector but without the mental illness and bad hair. I didn't get to be a record producer and I've struggled with mental illness, but I've got really nice hair...;-)
Now, on to my list, in no particular order:

Wolves, Lower - REM
Gimme Shelter - Rolling Stones
Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division
Stroll On - Yardbirds
Surf's Up - Beach Boys
The Yellow Princess - John Fahey
Gardening At Night - REM
Victoria - the Kinks
Be My Baby - Ronettes
See No Evil - Television
Anarchy In The UK - Sex Pistols
Sunflower River Blues - John Fahey
Point of No Return - Georgie Fame
Over, Under, Sideways, Down - Yardbirds
The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down - The Band

that's all I can think of at the moment.....what are yours?

More house buying fun!

After being in such a hurry to sell us a house with a defective plumbing system, the seller is taking his sweet time about getting it repaired. skeleton and I have gone over to the house and looked inside (I know the combination to the lockbox) and so far, the only thing that's been done is somebody looked under the kitchen sink. We could tell that because the cabinet door was open. Perhaps the seller found out that the plumbing leak was bigger and more extensive than he thought and hoped to pawn off on us.......thank the goddess for plumbing inspectors!

Please kill me now....

According to the real estate attorney who is handling the negotiations of the sale of this house, we cannot use our realtor because the slimy realtor "procured the sale through the use of his marketing", i.e., we called the number on the sign instead of our realtor doing it. So if we want to buy the house, we have to use the slimy realtor, or face a lawsuit from said slimy realtor. Period. End of Story.
Jesus tap dancing kee-rist......just shoot me now. But shoot the slimy realtor first and let me watch.
And that's not even the worst thing we're facing.....

The Roller Coaster never stops

uuunnggghhh...I'm dizzy.......
So this morning, I get an email from the owner of the house, saying how sorry he was that we terminated the contract and he was concerned about the comments I made about the slimy realtor and could we speak about it on the phone today?
I called him after work and told him everything that said slimy realtor had been trying to pull and he apologized, saying that his partner (the rude guy I talked to on Friday) hadn't told him any of this. I said that the slimy realtor was the only reason we terminated, because we really wanted the house. I told him that we wanted to resubmit our bid, but this time with our OWN realtor, of the decidedly non-slimy variety, and he was most amenable.
Soooooo....I emailed our non-slimy realtor who has agreed to represent us and deal with the slimy realtor (who's going to absolutely SHIT when he hears from her! ROFL) and she's going to type up our offer so we can resubmit it by Wednesday. The seller said that the plumbing leak will be fixed this week. We can have the plumbing system retested and get the house inspected and that should be it........she typed through gritted teeth.

Termination

We terminated our house contract today, because of the fucking slimy realtor. Not only wouldn't he fax back copies of option renewals unless I threatened to call the Board of Realtors on him, he babbled incessantly, not letting us get a word in edgewise and he also signed himself as our (the buyers) representative on the contract without telling us! I called the seller today to see if he got a copy of our option renewal amendment to sign and he told me that he had signed it and "your realtor" should have faxed it to me by now. I told him that this idiot wasn't MY realtor, he was HIS realtor. "Nope, look at your contract." So, I did, and the asshole had signed under our names as our realtor, when we had explicitly told him that we were representing ourselves. Lesson learned: get your own realtor....
So, after calling the realtor and letting him know exactly what I thought of him, I faxed over our termination of contract to him, the seller and the title company. Of course, i immediately got a phone call: "Now, Lisa, isn't this a bit"....click! I hung up on him. I listened to enough of his incoherent babbling for the past month.
Luckily for us, we've been looking at other houses with a reputable realtor and we'll be dealing with her from now on......
And the slimeball can look forward to a notice from the Texas Board of Realtors....

watch the TV news.....

If you see a story about the body of a fat, sweaty realtor found cut up into tiny little pieces, you'll know I finally went over the edge......

My opinion of the slimy realtor we're dealing with.........

House Hunters

The house we made an offer on turned out to have a huge plumbing problem (a leak in or under the slab). The seller initially said that he would only allow $1000 for any repairs, but this will be a multi-thousand dollar repair, according to the plumber we hired to test the system, on the advice of the house inspector. Apparently, houses that are 50 years old or more have cast iron pipes that were meant to last about 50 years or so. This house has also settled and the foundation has been somewhat repaired in places.
The seller is now saying that he will have his plumber look into seeing how much repairs will be, but not until Tuesday, the day before our option period is up. He asked if we would extend our option period, which we will do, but not at any additional cost to us. He also tried to rope us into paying for part of the plumbing repairs but of course we said no. We've already made it abundantly clear that we have no extra money to give him. He cannot sell the house in that condition, unless he finds someone who has a lot of money to pour into the repairs. The rest of the house is great, and he's a contractor, so he shouldn't try to cheap out.
We also looked at another house today, in case we have to opt out of the other one. It's great as well, but more expensive and smaller. It's on our side of I-35, so it would be much easier to sell, when we decide to get rid of it in the future, and it's a court-ordered sale, which could take a while to go through, giving us time to save up $$ a bit.
Choices, choices.......maybe the choice will be made for us next week.

I would tell you my opinion of my life today..........but I can't spell that sound.